Ted Archives

October 9, 2007

Ted: Early Days, pt 3

The floods took everything. The heavy heat and the snarl took the weakest and slowest. Within a year, the population was down to thirty thousand. Thirty thousand hard survivors.

Their children learned history and language, mathematics and geometry: everything that could be salvaged of Earth knowledge went into this new oral tradition.

But they had to stay hard.

By gen three, the younglings proved themselves ready to marry by walking to all ten hands, alone and naked.

The seven hundred mile circuit claimed less than half of the walkers. The elders tried to not let anyone younger than fourteen try.

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October 10, 2007

Ted: Susan, Once a Year

Finally.

She lay there, sweat and oil glistening on her naked body. Her vacation to the islands was officially a success.

She had started the evening with no reservations or doubts, she wanted this. Morals were for Omaha, not the tropics.

Her coconut bra and grass skirt were on the floor where she had ripped them off earlier. Only for a moment did she consider putting them back on, then decided she wouldn't care if she went nude back to her bungalow, everyone had seen her naked already.

Still quivering from her last orgasm, she kissed the group and left.

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October 11, 2007

Ted: Choices

"Fine, Nidas. I choose him!"

"Him" was the man in command of the agcar that she had noticed coming over the trees. She could tell he was the commander because of his bearing: the solid stance of someone used to adversity but knew his own measure. Like a man used to being in charge.

The rest of the hand turned to look where she was pointing. Most stood mute, but made weapons ready. Some of the younglings murmured among themselves, a break in discipline that Nidas would deal with later, not in front of the strangers. The Sky-Men of prophecy.

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October 12, 2007

Ted: Organized Culinary Crime

The Pirogi Gang had thrown a beating to all the competition in Little Hungary. You either worked for them or went to the hospital. Until the Jozity's rolled into town.

They played like custard left out in February: hard.

When I found the bodies, I knew how bad it was gonna get. The city pays me to be curious, but I earned my pay that night. And a promotion to head Homicide when the Captain resigned after seeing what the Jozity's did to poor Papa Pirogi and his three sons.

Heads full of chicken and potatoes send a bad message.

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October 15, 2007

Ted: Hole Card

Ed reached for his tickler.

"Got it Ed," James said softly. The bar went silent. "Sara, ask Tina to join us, please."

Goon One started to speak, but James silenced him with a finger. Sara waved the crowd to the aux rooms behind the bar.

"Tina, darlin'? I need to speak to Grovesner, can you reach him?"

"Sure. Shot?" Ed poured.

"Tina, ask Grovesner how committed he is to his quarterly payment."

"What's this about?' came the voice of the sector chief out of little Tina's mouth.

"Privacy. Or do you want Tina to blast your goons and your brain?"

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October 16, 2007

Ted: Susan, Driving home

Ohhhhhmmmmaha. Susan drove back to her house through the snow and slush, trying to make her town sound like a zen meditation chant. It sounded more like a Gregorian chant, by some some very backed up monks.

The snow had traffic at a crawl.

She peeled out of her pants, let her coat hide her skin, and started to rub her clit.

It became a game: could she get off before traffic unsnarled? Could she cum again before her car reached the next exit?

Her usual fifteen minute drive became a pleasant hour instead.

Damn, was she ready for Nathan!

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October 17, 2007

Ted: Make it Pay

Susan knew she had to stop. Her dean, the other professors, hell, even some of her students, were talking about her behind her back.

After so many years of keeping it all bottled in, Susan was finally free, and she wanted to celebrate.

Thirty-five years old and she finally had her first orgasm. It woke her up inside. It made her finally enjoy sex, with her husband or anyone else. Even the coffee shop girl had noticed, and Susan had jumped at the chance.

But she was about to get fired for it. Time to write that research proposal instead.

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October 18, 2007

Ted: Goddamned Pre-Colombian Art

The gorge floor was, as these things tend to be, layered in terraces of sharp boulders and white water. The suspension bridge looked as old as the stones. Fuck that.

So I did a one handed Australian belay down one side then climbed the other side using a rope grabbing slide pinch.

Too gottdamned vivid, too full of junta soldiers.

Damn I needed a chopper, fast. The narco-troops and the federales were about to run into each other, and I did not want to be in the crossfire. Especially when the revolutionnes were about to triangle fuck both of them.

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October 23, 2007

Ted: Susan, Noises Off

Susan lay on a table, cams in every corner of the room. Across the globe, ten thousand men waited for their $3.99 trial to begin.

Thirty thousand dollars for doing what she wanted to do anyway was a great deal, she thought.

She began by dropping the top of her robe, rolling over so the cams couldn't actually see her nipples. Then she rolled over to untie her belt, rolling over again on her belly, this time letting the cams see her perfect ass.

Then her head exploded in a geyser of blood.

None of her fans heard the shot.

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October 24, 2007

Ted: To answer your question, yes. It does.

I love that your ass is big... whoever you are. Big, black, jungle butt or ginormous trailer shelf ass, either one works for me, baby.

When you put on any pair of shorts or a bikini, or if you have to lay on your back just to close a zipper, it's gonna make your ass look big.

I'm fine with that. More than: actively seeking!

I love a girl with a totally grabable ass. A girl who has enough spread on her to support my weight, if you know what I mean.

But that muffin top has got to go.

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