Ted Archives

August 29, 2007

Ted: Just Like Opal Mining

It took weeks to pick out Mathilde from the black. The crater on her face, deeper than the oceans of earth, deeper than Mons Olympus was tall, was the perfect place to start. James knew tunneling from the days when he had two good arms, but he needed a place he could pressurize first.The robots he picked up when outfitting his rig could do that part, no problem.

He unshipped them both and went to sleep on board. Ten hours later, James had ten thousand cubic feet of empty and was ready to start the hard part.

"Let's go, cobber."

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August 31, 2007

Ted: Coda

Yay, riding lessons.

This is what I'm reduced to.

I was a warhorse with the King's Own, Honorably Retired, until that bastard stole me from my pasture. I carried that sack of suet off to "battle" the evil witch. Stupid sods rode me double for days, and me without decent shoes, on the way back. Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep two sloppy drunks from falling out of the saddle while they are working on that first baby?

Didn't think so.

So yeah, put little princey on my back again without a saddle, go ahead.

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September 4, 2007

Ted: Self-Improvement?

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September 5, 2007

Ted: Weaver

She stood out on the very edge of Creation, looking down into the abyss. From this height, her eight hundred eyes could see the far end of the universe and her eight hundred legs could touch all of the worlds. Here was where she would birth.

Her abdomen lurched in painful spasms as each of her eight hundred daughters burst through her belly, skittering down different legs to different worlds.

The daughters were only the hundredth part of her, each deformed with only eight legs or eyes, but they would allow her to see enough to weave her Great Web.

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September 6, 2007

Ted: I Hate this Town

"I hate this town."

"No you don't. You get like this every time the fog lasts past 8. As soon as the sun comes out, you love it all over again. The parks, the bridge, the wharf. Where else could you live the way we do, do the jobs we have, and not be chased out of town by villagers with pitchforks and torches?"

"But the nights get so damn cold, even in summer."

"I know.. Hey, look, there's a likely candidate. Got your scythe ready? Ok, go get her!"

"By myself? What? Your arm's broke?"

"You need a vacation."

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September 7, 2007

Ted: Minor Glitch

"Sa-ra! What in the blue hell are you doing down there?"

"Quit yelling, Jimmy," said Sara, rubbing sleep from her eyes. "Right here. What's all that pounding?"

Realization hit the two now fully awake inhabitants at the same time. "Run Sara. Get suited." James was surprised he was able to keep his voice steady. He turned down the corridor and started toward Climate Control.


"Sara, I'll get the sprayseal pumping while you get dressed. I can't suit up with only one arm. I'll need you to help. Which you can't if you've argued us both to death. Now go."

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September 10, 2007

Ted: The Silken Path

She looked upon Her eight hundred daughters with pride. They had all spawned wonderful and glorious children who teemed upon the eight hundred worlds in near infinite variety. Hiding in the shadows, or basking in the sun, they were Her eyes.

She knew that Her plan would destroy them all. She knew that Her plan would reduce the eight hundred worlds down to just eight: distilled, then purified by fire.

Lo, She wept.

Her villainy was unforgivable, even to Herself. Even to create stability. The concept of LIFE itself would die without Her plan. Even if it cursed Her forever.

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September 17, 2007

Ted: Early Days

When Stefan Galikinoucous sent his vessel out to the black, he sent one hundred thousand people, livestock appropriate for an ark, and dogs. The dogs had been gene altered and tested to make sure they bred true for over a hundred years. The varied parentage made for a multiply intelligent and devoted dog with senses more keen than any ever seen in the wild.

The population of Sparta used them for everything from hunting, draft animals, bed warmers, even combed out the fine undercoat fur to weave into clothes. They and the humans were the only ones to survive Landfall.

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September 18, 2007

Ted: Robert Preston?

Orina, it was rumored, had herself created quite a few illegal clones. Seems one of her only ways of really connecting to people was to have her favorite movie star replicated, program it with all the dialog ever from their movies and interviews, and have it over for dinner.

Orina would let the clone live all during the meal, asking it hours of questions. She of course had made sure that the clone brains had no pain receptors.

When the dessert trolley was finally rolled around, the clones would invariably choose the pink chiffon pie.

She always had the eyeballs.

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September 19, 2007

Ted: Early Days, pt 2

The first of the snarl came a month after Landfall. The Argo had already been gutted down to the beams, so there was no turning back. The higher than expected gravity and heat had already killed over half the colonists and livestock.

Galikinoucous ordered the survivors to split up into hands, each hand to send its fingers out into the countryside, to keep moving until the snarl migration was over. One finger was to be always on guard, protecting the rest of the hand, guarding the flanks, armed with the few rifles they had left.

Then came the rainy season.

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