Michele Archives

October 4, 2005

Michele: Point. Not. Point. Not.

He had to make the bus, or he’d once again be embarrassed by his mother walking him to school in one of her homemade floral housecoats, pins and needles from her latest sewing experiment stuck in the sleeves.

He forgot his lunch. His mother, all blubber and daisies, came running after the bus, Frankie’s lunch in one hand, sewing scissors in the other, her arm fat flapflapflapping as she ran.

The bus pulled away just as Frankie’s mother tripped and fell hard onto the point of the scissors.

“Don’t run with scissors, ma.” Frankie whispered as the bus turned the corner.

*title is an inside joke with myself, though one out of hundreds may understand it.

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October 6, 2005

Michele: blue - da ba dee da ba

Susan stood over the toilet, horrified. Not only was the shit she just took was blue-hued, it was floating in a sea of blue piss.

She felt a flutter of panic crawling into her heart. Holy shit, I’m dying. I must have a disease. 911. Hospital. Dying, she whispered to herself.


Karen, hearing the panic in her roommate’s voice, barreled into the bathroom. Susan was pointing at the bowl. “Blue! What the fuck, it’s blue!”

Karen peered into the toilet.

“You know those BLUE frosted cupcakes I made after we smoked last night?”
“How many?”


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October 11, 2005

Michele: One Night in Bangkok

“Bradley, this is a steakhouse.”
“Ya think? What gave it away? The neon sign that says Jack’s Steakouse or the platters of dead cow?"
“Ohmygod. I can’t believe you took me to a steakhouse for our week anniversary.”
“What? You wanted to do a movie instead?”
“Bradley! I’m a vegetarian!”
“And they got lots of vegetables here.”
“This is unbelievable. You should’ve let me pick.”
“Oh, a night at Terry’s Tofu Tavern would have been just heavenly.”
“At least you would have stood a chance at getting inside my tofu tavern.”
“You did not just say that.”
“Fuck. I did.”

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October 12, 2005

Michele: Where Evil Dwells

“Hark! Do I hear the sound of a woman in peril? Duty calls!”

Flash! Like a streak of lightning he bolts across the sky, honing in on the sound of panic.
“I am here to save you, m’am! Fear not, for I shall banish whatever evil lurks around your home!”
The woman is in the kitchen, her hands held up to her face in sheer terror.

“My hero, a last, you have arrived! Jim will be home soon and I’ve burned the roast!”

Flash! A new roast appears on the table, hot, juicy and rare.

“Thank you, DinnerMan!”

“My pleasure!”

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October 14, 2005

Michele: I'll feel you burn!

“I am the god of hellfire and I bring you.......FIRE!”

The rags went up in a flash.

“Heff, the garage is catching fire!” The room was creeping with flames and thick smoke.

Heff and I ran for the door, but I tripped over something. I heard a moan and felt around my feet.

“Heff, it’s grandpa. He’s on fire!” We dragged him to the lawn and rolled him. When the flames died, he rose up and bellowed:


“Sorry, Grandpa Hephaestus. Won’t happen again.”

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October 15, 2005

Michele: Escape Clause

“It was a dark and stormy night. I was in the cemetery, minding..”
“Looking for bodies...”

“I’ll wait for my attorney.”
“Will he be here soon?”
I glanced out the window. “Sun’s down. Should be soon.”

A few minutes later, a bat appeared at the window.
“Let him in.”
“Excuse me? The bat?”
“My attorney.”
“Oh come on...”
I bared my teeth a bit, let my fur stand up.

He opened the window.

The bat flew in and, in one small poof, became Dracula, Attorney at Law.

The officer fainted and Drac flew us out of there. Works every time.

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October 16, 2005

Michele: In His Shoes

He was knocked right out of his shoes.

I always thought it was just a saying. A person couldn’t physically be knocked out of snug, laced up shoes, right?

I really don’t remember much except a blur of motion and Chris’s pained scream.

When I opened my eyes, Chris was laying on a stretcher, his face and chest covered with someone’s I ❤NY sweatshirt. His legs and feet were uncovered and I noticed the socks. Black socks.

I found one shoe in front of the car that hit him, the other near the curb.

I took them home with me.

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October 17, 2005

Michele: My Cup Runneth Over

I know it’s wrong, but nourishment is scarce since the plague; healthy blood is hard to find and I’d rather not wither to dust.

I entered the church at midnight and located the sacristy. Still feeling uncomfortable about what I was doing, I did a quick sign of the cross (that does not kill us) and drank. Lucky me, it was blessed. I could feel the life coursing through me.

Then I saw the priest standing there.

He cut my stomach out with a pocket knife, squeezed and drained my fluids into the wine vessel.

Good thing I’m already dead.

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October 18, 2005

Michele: Hungry Like the Wolf

I stay within the shadows
blend with the darkness,
go unnoticed
until it’s too late

A flicker of movement
bursts from the night
I am on them.

Surprise is their weakness
no time to defend.

In seconds
the flesh is hanging from their throat
muscles exposed
blood painting the ground

I drag the victim to a private place
I devour skin
until I am sated

I leave the remains
for the wolves;
more my brethren than humans.

I howl
then sleep

dawn breaks
I walk the streets

become me again

or leave me again

it’s hard to tell.

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October 19, 2005

Michele: Down in a Hole

My skin is walking off my bones. I’m uptight. Restless. I rub the skin on my arms until it flakes but it still feels like it’s crawling away.

I pace. Forward five. Turn. Back five. Five is all I can go in these shackles. I want to go ten, twenty, five hundred, home. I can’t.

It’s dark and damp and every sound is amplified. This place is cavernous. Yet I feel like I’m in a mousehole.

I hear footsteps, going away. A door slams, my heart jumps, my stomach drops.

I wonder when he’ll come back.

I pace forward five

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