Clone Killers Archives

May 17, 2005

Ted: The really weird thing

The really weird thing was the head. Not the fact that it was missing, just the fact that there was no wound. It looked like the body had grown to adulthood without a head.

When we found the second one, I knew it could only be one thing--clones. These rich people gotta have their body parts, but they don't want their organ banks ever growing a soul so they make a tiny change at the second cell division and WHAMMO, no head.

I don't know what these guys do when they need eyes, but I hear Chinatown is very popular.

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July 7, 2005

Ted: The Club

I looked at my colorless hands. Tonight would change everything. After tonight, I would be in the Band of the Hand, or a fruit-boy.

I walked up to the entrance and gave it the knock. The eye looking out of the slide took it's time about making up it's minimal mind before letting me in.

The bouncer, with his bright blue hands, wanted to know next of kin, marital status, employer, residence, and probate status. The dead in this club are dead in all but fact, so the Law requires paperwork.

"Welcome to Club Duello. Prepare to duel by nine."

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July 26, 2005

Ted: An Eye for an Eye

The thing is, I actually know a guy who sells eyeballs.

I got called to head over to Park's in Chinatown to evaluate the crime scene.

The hands were removed, of course, as well as his eyes. It was the eyes that told me what I needed to know. No one just takes an eye or two, they have to have a place to sell them. Or as a warning to others. This was a warning, since it turns out that Park had quite a collection of trophy eyes in his warehouse.

Dammit. First the clones, now the accessories dealers.

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July 30, 2005

Ted: Saturday Morning, 10 A.M., 2253.

The chef looked up from his menu board as the inspector made her entrance.

"I'm looking for this girl," she said by way of introduction, thrusting a photo under his nose.

The chef took the photo and examined it. He noticed things in order of importance: she was nude, she was blonde, she had about thirty extra pounds along her flanks, and she had a small hummingbird tattoo on her left butt cheek.

"Except for the tattoo, she could have been last night's entree."

"Thanks. Lemme know if you see her around, she's a vegetarian terrorist, and must be stopped."

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February 7, 2007

Ted: 3:28 A.M.

The door chimed as the mercury sang "Delivery!"

I was awake of course. If this lady expected me to either be sleep-fuddled or out, she had just made a mistake. I hadn't ordered anything.

So I opened the door with the remote and stood out of sight, my auto tracking her.

She really was a mercury, only she was working for Ariel instead. Us stiffs hardly ever see a real Ariel, wings on her feet and everything.

"Do I need to sign?"

"No. I always deliver. They want you to have the catalogue before you go any further. Good night."

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February 22, 2007

Ted: Passing Messages

"Yes," I told the voice on the other end of the phone. "I got it last night. Nice of you to deliver it."

"Look on page 362, detective." The line went dead.

Finding 362, I saw what looked like a spearhead. A threat? Some kind of message? The advertising copy read "Unique Roman Spearhead." Nothing else.

The phone rang. Flipping it open, I answered with my usual line: "What?"

Same voice again. "Detective, what you see is the actual spear that killed Jesus. Are you fully aware of our power now?"

"Yup. Fuck you. Still don't care. Jessi was special."

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February 27, 2007

Ted: Copycat

"Whaddygot?"

"You're gonna hafta see this shit yourself. I'm puttin in for a transfer."

So I looked a question at the other officer. She looked all of twenty.. ..gods was I ever that green?

"He was the clown at my 13th birthday party. OH GOD!! BOBO YOU BASTARD!!!!"

Two other officers took her away with calming voices. Damn. Good-bye to her career.

"Is there anyone here who either saw what happened or was a first responder?"

Smythe came through a door at the rear of the room. "Jason, we gotta talk. Upstairs."

"First it was your damn clones, now this."

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February 28, 2007

Ted: 4:04 A.M.

"Come on, just once more. Pleeeeeeeeeease?"

Jessi pulled out of Dan Jason's grip. She was such a sweet girl, really. Didn't understand that Jason was trying to get her out and get her safe. He was just too fucked up to handle her intensity.

He was on day three of a heroic drunk when he got the call. It was his anniversary. He always stayed drunk that week.

The call to help Jessi sobered him just enough to flit to the Duello. But once there, the lights and music hammered what was left of his senses.

Time to call backup.

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March 5, 2007

Ted: Mechanical Devolution

All around her, she could feel the water. Warm and persistant. Her eyes and ears were full of Gulf. Her throat and belly welcomed the return to Mother Ocean.

She wondered how much longer.

Briefly, she tickled the shell of a tropical lobster as she lay on the bottom.

Too dark to see, there at the bottom of the Gulf; too quiet also.

Only the feeling of water around her told her she was still alive.

Pressure test passed, she raised her powerful arms and kicked her metallic legs to raise again to the surface.

Next came the sonar upgrade.

March 14, 2007

Ted: 11:48 A. M.

Springer showed up just as I passed out. So I only heard what happened later.

Apparently, he got it into his head to drag me out of the club by my ankles. Springer is as strong as they come; so when he wants to drag something, it gets dragged.

When I woke, my head hurt worse than it should have. I felt bruises everywhere. "Crap," I moaned. I hurt too much to use a stronger word.

"Jase, I hate to say, you gotta quit drinking now."

"Why?"

"Because last night you tried to run with the Hunters. Fortunately, they declined."