Stacy Archives

October 17, 2005

Stacy: Cover Band

I watched in amusement as he nervously pushed up the sleeves of his zippered naugahyde jacket and straightened his absurdly skinny tie. I hadn't seen a tie like that since high school, 30 years earlier.

He stalked around the store, an overdressed banty rooster, stumbled as he turned too quickly on his high heeled boots. I stifled a snicker, shouldn't laugh at the paying customers.

He stopped suddenly, eyes wide. "The Casio CT-615 Tone Bank Synthesizer," he whispered reverently. "61 full size keys, 10 note polyphonic PCM sound generator, and 210 sound programmable Tone Bank!"

I smiled. "Cash or charge?"

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October 18, 2005

Stacy: The Star Chamber

“Let's focus on YOU?? You do understand this is a committee, don't you? We all have an equal vote.”

I curled my lip in a delicate sneer. “Committees are for the bourgeoisie, Anton, you know that. What ever made you think your vote was equal to mine?”

I glared around the room. “Or any of your votes, for that matter.” None would meet my gaze.

"You're weak, all of you,” I snarled. “Too weak to hold power, to weak to even be near power.”

I stalked to the door and unspooled the rope ladder. “Now get out of my treehouse!"

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October 19, 2005

Stacy: Self Aware

"Tense? Why am I tense?"

"Yeah. You've been making me nuts all day, what's wrong with you?"

"Hm. Let's see. Why could I be tense? Could it be...and I'm just spitballing here...that you're FUCKING MY BROTHER??!?!"

"There's no need to yell..."


"Well, it's just this thing you know? We met, sparks flew..."

"We've been married for less than a month, and YOU'RE FUCKING MY BROTHER!!!"

"Would you calm down please? It was only that one time."

"I swear, woman, you are so lucky today’s theme isn’t 'write about a justified homicide'."

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January 3, 2006

Stacy: First Wife

I hear the noise before I can see it. The monotone chanting scrapes like a burr across my ancient nerves.

Centuries I've been gone and still with the chanting.

I turn my head towards the light, eyes still blurred from my long sleep. I flex my claws...when did I get claws?...and the chanting falters.

I can smell them, these humans, and that's one thing that hasn't changed. They stink of soft living and ease, no whipcrack of hardship has ever befallen these.

My vision clears and I spring to my feet, wings unfurling. Let's see what we remember about hardship.

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January 4, 2006

Stacy: Sacrifice

Flames. Was the room really on fire? She blinked sleepy eyes at the orange light dancing on the ceiling. John. Where... His face swam into view above her.

"Thank the gods," she said, "I thought..."

She stopped at the look on his face. It was…odd.

"Yes, thank the gods," he said, breathing harshly.

She felt leaden, as if she’d had too much to drink, her eyes kept sliding out of focus. ‘Drugged’, she thought, fear beginning to surge through her. She tried to roll out of bed, run, but it was too late. The knife penetrated just above her breastbone.

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January 18, 2006

Stacy: Mea Culpa

Wow, the commenters totally smoked us today. By way of explanation, one of us is in mourning, one of us busy writing about reality show contestants, one of us is writing the next great sci-fi novel, one of us is somewhere in frigging Britain, one is likely hanging out with some duck, one will probably post later, and one is off doing whatever it is he does.

We'll do better, we promise.

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September 25, 2006

Stacy : Warning

From: The Office of Zodiacal and Astrological Oversight

For General Release:

Effective immediately, the zodiacal time heretofore known as "Scorpio" shall be subdivided to "Scorpio" and "Hellbitchica." Hellbitchica will begin November 17th, and run through November 22nd. Any individual choosing to voluntarily seek out a mate originating from this astrological period shall be deemed mentally incompetent and stripped of all authority, voting rights, and their driver's license.

The general public is advised to steer well clear of those hailing from Hellbitchica, and pregnant women due during that time should look into having elective C-Sections to avoid the associated negative influences.

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September 26, 2006

Stacy: The Bargain

Mia darted into the cloakroom and slammed the lock home. She stood, panting for breath, trying to comprehend why one of Anton's assassins was at the bar, looking for her. She hadn't done anything...lately. But he'd totally deserved it.

Her eyes roamed around the graffitti-scrawled room, looking for an escape, a shotgun, anything. Her eyes lit on words written in elegant copperplate, out of place as a fluffy bunny.

"Problems? Call 555-2365 to make them disappear. Terms reasonable."

The door shuddered behind her as a booted foot slammed against it. Shaking, she took out her cell phone and dialed.

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September 27, 2006

Stacy: The Researcher

Even with Jupiter’s great bulk out of the way, FTL radio had been hissing static for a week now. When he finally got up enough interest to turn the 15 meter scope towards Earth, he was unsurprised to find the planet shrouded in white, no hint of it's typical blue-green visible. The stations at the LaGrange points were completely dark, no shuttle traffic between them and Luna. Mount Olympus’ relay beacon was likewise silent.

Shrugging to himself, he turned the FTL radio receiver off, pointed the scope back out past the Kuiper belt, and continued his study of Asteroid 134340.

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September 28, 2006

Stacy: The Best Defense


“No, MINE!”

“Mine, mine, mine…”

The earsplitting screech resounded through the sensors of the craft, as its occupants watched from above. A small, pink hu-man had just snatched an object from the appendage of the slightly smaller pink hu-man, and was cavorting around the container of pulverized rock in triumph. The smaller hu-man opened it’s feeding orifice and emitted a noise that made each of the explorers clap their tentacles over their earbuds and morph cerulean in pain.

A tentacle crept up the control panel towards a certain lever.

“Liktnop…we are here to OBSERVE.

The tentacle moved sullenly away.

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