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February 5, 2008

Tuesday

Well -- nobody expected that candidate to win ...

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Sealyon: Hail to the...

Indeed, it was the last thing anybody expected.

In a rare showing of solidarity, both Republicans and Democrats demanded a recount. They got it. They weren't happy. They demanded another; when it yielded the same results, they sued.

Oblivious to all of this, he stretched, rolled over, and looked at the ceiling. His Vice President scratched his tummy while the Secretary of State left to get celebratory rawhide chews. Everyone patted his head and told him he was a good dog. Eventually, President Rex went outside and began the task of marking the White House grounds.

Change had finally come.

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Dave: November Surprise

The Democratic ticket had, of course, the support of Big Labor, the liberal media, the puppet-waving activists, the minorities and disenfranchised and lazy, the French, and the whining and dining Hollywood celebrities.

The Republican ticket, naturally, had the support of Big Business, the conservative media, the Bible-thumpers, the homophobes and xenophobes, the Saudis, and the gun nuts.

Polls showed both sides neck-and-neck right down to Election Day.  Nobody realized, though, the power of a casual catch phrase. Nor did anyone predict how many people actually would vote the independent ticket of Fred Early and Cecilia Often.

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LJ: (p)Resident Alien

Nothing disqualified Tjj'xlq. It was a natural-born -- if "born" was the right word -- citizen of the U.S., being the... spawn... of immigrants. And it was 35 Earth years old. So, on a platform of promises to share the advanced scientific knowledge of its species, it was easily swept into the White House with over 60% of the popular vote.

Its first act on taking office: a message to the warships in polar orbit. Its commanders were impressed at its taking of a superpower without firing a single shot. The invasion had to take place within the next four years, though.

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