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January 24, 2008


Why did you climb a tree?

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Dave: Tree Hugger

"What are you doing up there?"

"I -- like it up here."

"In a tree?"

"Trees are nice."

"It's cold out.  What happened to your jacket?"

"I dunno."

"Where did you put your jacket?"

"It's -- I dunno."

"What are you looking at?"


"When I'm talking to you, young man, I'd like you to look at me."


"Thank you.  I'm still waiting to hear about your jacket."

"It's -- inside, I think."

"It's freezing outside.  Why are you out without your jacket?"

"I dunno."

"Well, get down here right now.  It's time for dinner."

"I'd -- rather not."

"Why not?"


"Because why?"

"Because I'm scared."

"Scared?  Scared of what?"

"Of that."

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David: Oh, That

“I walk past this tree every day on my way to work. It reminds me of this magnolia we had in the yard when I was a kid. I’d spend hours up there every day, dreaming of sitting in the crow’s nest looking for pirates, or blasting off to the moon, or exploring the deepest Amazon jungle.

“Then I grew up and stopped climbing trees. I sit in a cube and move numbers. But today I decided that it was time for another adventure, that it’s never too late for the simple joys.”

“Yes, sir. But why are you naked?”

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Ted: Free Fire Zone

The new-minted colonel surveyed his troop.

"Gents, we will keep doing the job, just like we've been trained to do, until we are relieved. Form up and move out."

The troops formed up a column of twos. The six sergeants under his command checked their gear, faced them left, and marched them into the jungle.

Three minutes later, he couldn't see where the six hundred men under his command had melted into the green.

Taking his rifle, he climbed a tree at the fringe. Seeing one of his own men, he shot him dead as a lesson to the others.

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From the Comments - By LJ

"You said Mommy died and went to Heaven," my daughter explained. "I climbed the tree to get closer to Heaven."

I sighed and forced my teeth not to grind. "Well, okay, but it's an awfully big tree. Just don't climb so high anymore, okay?"

"Okay, Daddy," she said, hugging my leg. She ran off to play, leaving me wondering when I'd tell her the truth: her mother had bailed on us three months after she was born. I hadn't even tried to keep track of her.

Maybe she was dead... but after leaving her daughter, she definitely wasn't in Heaven.

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