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November 2, 2007

Friday

You're our only hope!

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David: An Old Hope

“Damn it,” Ben thought as the hologram faded. “I’m retired. Haven’t I done enough damage already?”

He studied the farm boy with an appraising eye. He had his father’s eyes. Ben reminded himself that he’d spent the last eighteen years combing the sand out of his beard specifically to avoid just this sort of situation.

But prophecy was prophecy. There was nothing for it but to round up the other one and try to redeem himself by succeeding where he had so spectacularly failed before.

He reminded himself to tell the kid she was his sister, next chance he had.

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Michele: The Soliloquy That Should Have Been

“You’re our only hope!”

“Well that’s tough luck, boy. Start looking for another hero, because this one’s done. I’m heading out of this godforsaken place. The Jedi ruined my life and I’m gonna pack some fun in my last few years instead of spending them trying to train some farm boy to do magic. Not for nothing, Skywalker, your father may have been a bad man, but at least he had balls. I picked the wrong god damn side in this war. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna get me some dark side tail and kick Yoda’s green ass.”

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Jim: Or...

The hologram displayed a girl wearing really big earmuffs. Luke stared as she endlessly looped, “You’re our only hope,” while bending over in a furtive half-bow.

“Obi-wan?” the farm boy asked the malfunctioning robot. “Could she mean Old Ben Kanobi?” Then he shook his head and grinned. “No way,” he decided. “That old coot doesn’t even wear pants.”

The robot spun its muffin top and issued an irritating stream of bleeps, bloops and whistles.

The farm boy tightened the robot’s restraining bolt. “Don’t worry,” he assured the robot. “I’ll fix your voice synthesizer right after I wipe that broken recording.”

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