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March 26, 2007

3.26.07

"Antidisestablishmentarianism."

This word must appear at least once.

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Jim: The Argument

Judy grinned, silver braces reflecting light from the humming ceiling fluorescents. “Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious is the longest English word,” she said.

“It is not,” Tommy retorted. “That’s not a real word. It’s just a nonsense word from a movie.”

“Oh, yeah, Mr. Smarty-Pants?” Judy scowled. “If you’re so smart, then tell me what the longest word is.”

Tommy folded his arms and smugly said, “Antidisestablishmentarianism.”

“That dumb word hasn’t meant anything since the nineteenth century so it’s not a real word, either!” Judy stuck out her tongue and walked away.

Tommy glowered at Judy’s back, hating her floccinaucinihilipilification of everything he said.

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David: Anything To Fill The Space Between Commercials

“Greetings, Professor. Welcome to the show. Tell our viewers about yourself.”

“Ah, yes, well. I study antidisestablishmentarianism.”

“So, that would make you an antidisestablishmentarian?”

“No. An antidisestablishmentarian is a person who believes in or practices antidisestablishmentarianism. I’m more what you might call an antidisestablishmentarianismologist.”

“Of course. My apologies, Professor.”

“Personally, I’m opposed to antidisestablishmentarianism as a concept.”

“Which would make you, and correct me if I’m wrong, an antiantidisestablishmentarianism antidisestablishmentarianismologist.”

“Exactly right. Sometimes, I perform short plays using puppets to explain the basic tenets and flaws of antidisestablishmentarianism. It’s a little something I call ‘antidisestablishmentarianismionation.’”

“And we’re out of time.”

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Dave: What's in a name?

Lightning crackled around Ms. Ina’s fingers. “And now,” she said, childish voice thrumming like a hundred bumblebees, “you die, Roger Donne.”

Donne looked up from his newspaper. Chrys had done some research on this one, and he was lucky Chrys knew English better than he did. “23 Across – Against ending official state church.”

“What?!”

“Big word – 28 letters.” He gestured as casually as he could. “Crossword puzzle?”

She laughed. “Simple dolt. ‘Antidisestablishmentarianism.’”

With a mint-scented howl, she vanished.

He folded the paper. He hated crosswords. And fairies with reverse-name tricks. “Maybe simple, but who’s the dolt?” he asked empty air.

Read more from ***Dave's .

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Jeff R.: Had to be Done

Now, I love your mother, no question. It's her family I've problems with. I can take her dad Phil's conspiracy theories just fine, or her brother Allen's get-rich-quick schemes, but her sister Deanna's a bridge too far.

It's good that she lives in rural Mississippi, in a small town where that kind of thing is in the mainstream. In fact, it is the mainstream down there, which is bad, but it's good that we're living far away from her white-supremasist ways.

Anyhow, son, that's why I said we're like the Anglicans.

Always a bit embarassed by Auntie Dee's establishment Arianism.

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Ted: Sometimes, the Trip is Worth It

When men finally reached the stars, they brought religion with them.

Fortunately, the distance between stars made differences difficult to act upon. New Jerusalem never had it out with Cairo Major; Secundus Roma and The Dionysian League never established trade routes; and Mecca, where the metorite originated, was declared off limits to infidels. The infidels rejoiced

The Anglicans, however, were problematic. Worse, they were annoying to the rest of us. The antidisestablishmentarianism of centuries before didn't even have any basis since the UK wasn't a factor in exploration.

So we rounded them up and nuked when we did the LRonners.

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