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January 26, 2007


Write about a yellow-colored object.

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David: Philosophy Majors

“Superman versus Dracula: who wins?”

“Superman, duh. A vampire’s two main weaknesses are sunlight and fire. Superman is powered by the rays of our yellow sun, and he shoots fire out his eyes. Superman wins. Besides, Superman can beat anybody except Batman.”

“No way, dude. Everyone knows Superman is vulnerable to magic and mind control. Vampires are supernatural creatures who can control minds. Supes is toast.”

“Let’s say you’re right. So what? Dracula turns Superman. All that solar energy in his cells would instantly vaporize him. But I still say Superman wins.”

“Okay, what about Superman versus vampire Batman?”


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Jim: #2 Is Number 1!

To: Faculty, Staff and Students
Fr: IT Operations

Despite our efforts, system downtime cannot be eliminated. We are aware that many of you are unable to work during these times and are often seen wandering aimlessly, usually muttering epithets on topics ranging from our departmental efforts to our dubious ancestry.

To help you during these times of crisis, we are including a Primary, Emergency, Non-Computer Interface Line-maker (P.E.N.C.I.L.). This device has been field tested extensively for volume and stress. Properly maintained, the device meets all the requirements for data input and storage.

P.E.N.C.I.L. maintenance and data deletion instructions are attached.

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