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January 29, 2007


You've come home from work to discover that the lock on your door has been changed.

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David: Better Or Worse

I knocked on the door to my own home. “Honey? Are you here?” I called out.

I stood patiently, listening to a series of chains being unlinked, deadbolts being opened, and swing arms being swung. Finally, after I heard a chair dragged across the hardwood floor, my door opened a crack.

“Are you alone?” she asked me.

I sighed. “What happened this time? Did the mailman scare you again?”

“Say the safe word.”

I rolled my eyes. “’Magnolia.’” The door slammed shut. “Crap. Is it Thursday? ‘Honeysuckle Rose.’ Sweetie?”

I got out my cell phone and speed dialed the locksmith.

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Jeff R.: Still Two Steps Behind, Trying to Catch Up

They were good, have to give them that.

It was the same brand of lock. Approximately the same age, from the scratches and scuffs. They'd even duplicated the stripped screw and the gouge half an inch beside it.

But not the smaller one below. I figure the key was inches away from completing the circuit and blowing me to hell when I saw it.

Still, I needed the Lenox file. I was sure they'd rigged all of the obvious entries: doors, windows, garage. I needed another way.

Good thing I hadn't gotten around to fixing the leak in the attic.

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Jim: Dave's Not Here, Man

Did you ever have one of those days?

I just went out to fix the antenna. Pretty simple, huh? But one thing led to another and the repairs took a lot longer than I’d anticipated.

Then, when I finally get the antenna adjusted and pointed in the right direction, I discover I can’t get back inside.

I’m locked out!

I suppose I could just relax and admire the scenery but I have a lot of work to do inside. Plus, all my stuff is in there.

“I’ll ask one more time,” I sigh. “Please unlock the pod bay doors, HAL.

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