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November 10, 2006

11.10.06

Oh dear god! What is that smell?!

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Jim: One Of These Days

The walkie-talkie on Norton’s shoulder hissed to life. “Open Flow Valve T14” echoed eerily through the midnight labyrinth of pipes.

“T14,” Norton grunted in reply. He strained against the valve until it suddenly released, dumping a thick stream of fecal sludge onto his boots.

“Inspect Valves Y3 through Y11.”

Guided by the dim light from his helmet, Norton trudged through the blackness toward the industrial sector.

“Y8 is closed,” he told the walkie-talkie after arriving.

“Open Valve Y8.”

The torrent of liquid carried the cloying odors of pungent nutmeg and sweet maple. Norton turned away and ralphed up his breakfast.

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Michele: Can't You Smell That Smell

“Jesus ma. Something you got cooking in that stew pot is making me feel sick.”
“Oh dear. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.”
“What?”
“Well, I heard you fighting with that whore girlfriend of yours last night....”
“And....”
“And I heard her call my baby boy terrible things....”
“And....”
“And I followed her out....”
“And.....”
“I killed her, Henry.”
“Oh, ma.”
“She’s in the stew.”
“Oh, ma....you shouldn’t have.”
“It’s the least I could.....”
“No. I mean you shouldn’t have put green peppers in it. I fucking hate the smell of green peppers.”
“I’ll remember that for next time, Henry.”

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David: Julia Child She Ain't

The stench hit me the moment I entered the house. My eyes started watering. My throat clenched itself shut in self-defense.

“Honey?” I called out.

“Yes dear?” she replied from the other room.

“What the hell happened in here? It smells like someone stuffed a skunk inside a dead hobo and set them on fire.” I gasped, sucking in teaspoons of fetid air. I fought the impulse to turn around and flee my reeking house.

My beloved walked in from the kitchen, wiping her hands on her apron. “I thought you liked my skunk-stuffed hobo cannibal flambé surprise.”

"Meatloaf again?"

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Ted: Winter Break: South Florida

"Does anyone smell that?"

Sonya looked at her friends around the campfire, noting that most of them were absolutely potted.

Great. I'm the only sober girl in the entirety of the 'Glades.

"No guys, come on. Doesn't anyone else smell that? Ray? You smoking that creeper again?"

"Nope, just a good buzz from my buddy Jack here," he replied, holding up a damn near empty bottle of whiskey.

"What's that smell? And where's Jerry? JERRY? What the hell are you doing out there? Gators is gonna get you."

Jerry's body flew into the clearing.

Only Sonya escaped the Skunk Ape.

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