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July 8, 2005
Volume 3, Issue 8
What do you see?
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The Eschatologist: Department of Biological Security
"What did the report say?"
She handed him a folder, anticipating the question. "Units 12 and 13 slept fitfully and began to show signs that they were rejecting the program. Unit 13 especially - she cried out several times..."
He interrupted, "Doctor Malthus, you know the rules. Please refrain from the use of pronouns until the units have been assigned."
Sheepishly, she continued. "A dopamine-enforced cocktail was administered at 0400 and the frequency of their cortex stimulation decreased by 14 kHz."
"Excellent. Right on schedule for delivery!" He frowned suddenly. "I wish we could eliminate those silly retro headphones, though..."
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Michele: Lullabies to Paralyze
They’re experiments; hybrid infants born of man, animal, insects. Like those children’s puzzles where you move pieces around to create weird animals - an alligator with a chicken’s legs and a bumblebee’s body. That’s what these “children” were.
They look like real babies. We thought we bred superkids, children who look normal but have a bull’s strength or a fly’s vision. Useful children, for a change.
Alas, they were born with poison stingers in their fingers. One little bastard stung me.
Another wasted batch destined for the brain-scramblers and meaningless lives as drones.
Almost feel sorry for the little buggers.
Almost.
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Tanya: Found
Each of them had a set of headphones to drown out the others’ cries, so they didn’t constantly wake each other up. Nathan lay in his crib, listening to the comforting sounds of soft country music and drifting off to sleep. It had taken him some time to readjust to being home with his four siblings, after his time away, but babies do adapt quickly.
His parents had been frantic to find him missing, but their keen eyes and memory had aided in his quick recovery. Having finally been found, his pajamas did indeed have Yodas and shit on them.
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Ted: Once upon a time...
In a land far away, there were baby factories. People who wanted babies would go to the baby store, pick desired features, and wait for the delivery.
People soon discovered that the babies were smarter and grew faster than they did as kids. Parents realized these babies were better.
It turns out that the fertilizer had been tampered with by a disgruntled workman who had read about something called "sex". That's his holo over there. He was a madman who created a race of supermen to dominate the world, but he rediscovered sex, so he is a hero to me.
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From the Comments: Terry
The baby propaganda drones on as the babies sleep.
Baby 1 “You will become a plumber, a fine and honorable profession.”
Baby 2 “You will become a lawyer, a fine and honorable profession.”
Baby 3 “You will become a teacher, a fine and honorable profession.”
Baby 4 “You will become a computer scientist, a fine and honorable profession.”
Baby 5 “You will become a journalist, a fine and honorable profession.”
Baby 6 “You will become an accountant, a fine and honorable profession.”
Baby 7 “You will become a doctor, a fine and honorable profession.”
Baby 8 “I’m a little teapot….”
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Stacy: Targeted Market
Jenkins, CEO of Big Money Records, led his small audience through the clean room. “This is where the magic happens, people."
He indicated the rows of cubicles, containing hundreds of teenagers wearing headphones, some writing down notes, some just listening.
"We have the most advanced pre-market testing facility in the world. We hire these kids to come in, listen to pre-release music, give us the edge on our competition.”
He looked at around, “So, gentlemen, what kind of pre-market technology do you use?”
The CEO of Baby Baby Baby Records looked down and scuffed his shoe against the floor uncomfortably.
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