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July 5, 2005

Volume 3, Issue 5

Not so random choice of book quotes today:

I believe that what separates humanity from everything else in this world -- spaghetti, binder paper, deep-sea creatures, edelweiss and Mount McKinley -- is that humanity alone has the capacity at any given moment to commit all possible sins.

First line from Douglas Coupland's Hey Nostradamus! (a marvelous book).

Decipher, interpret, dismantle at will.

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Michele: The Gods Must Be Crazy

[First, I apologize for today's craptastic theme]

The gods were bored. War, riots...they’d seen it all, a million times. They wanted something fresh, new, exciting.

“Nothing says chaos like changing rules mid-stream,” offered Zeus.
“You mean like adding a commandment?” Mohammed, always mischievous, said.

“Well, sort of. But with more impact. We’ve got to be able to see results right away....Oh, SNAP!” He smiled devishly. “Let’s make the Seven Deadly Sins actually deadly! Immediate death. No more long term ramifications.”

Shouts of “Hell yes” “Woohoo!” and “Amen” followed. Zeus banged the gavel, put the law into order, and turned the World Monitor dial to Los Angeles.

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Ted: Bali Hi

The sailor rowed ashore in his lifeboat, not knowing where he was. The woman who found him brought him to her father. Her father had spent enough time with the missionaries that he knew the sailor's language.

"Why are you here?" asked Pulu.

"Sin," replied Abrahms.

"Whose sin?"

"The trecherous crew who mutineed. My sin for failing the Crown."

"Do you wish to return, or stay? Perhaps marry?"

Abrahms looked to the woman who found him, clothed as Eve before the fall. He knew that staying would bring sin to paradise. He imagined the gallows waiting behind him, and decided.

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Stacy: Warrior

Sin. Some people avoid it. I search it out.

Not to partake. Oh no. But rather to avenge.

Again and again my bright sword arcs, blood spatters, the guilty die.

Again and again.

I have seen all the horrors of which the human race is capable. They replay themselves in my mind at night, when sleep avoids me like they would. Like they should.

If they knew my name.

My sword has taken millions of lives. People will continue to sin, continue to commit terrible crimes. And my sword will take more lives.

How I wish it could take mine.

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From the Comments: Randy Shane

Free will has given humanity, and humanity alone, the capacity to
commit all possible sins.

This doesn't let other things off the hook, though.

Merely replacing spaghetti with linguine in Italian restaurants has
virtually wiped out jaywalking, failure to return library books, and
purple polyester bridesmaid dresses.

The discovery that weakly telepathic cephalopods are the indirect
cause of most workplace sexual harassment, as well as bad pick-up
lines and mullets, has made calamari the feminist appetizer of choice.

It's a mixed blessing, though. Shoplifting down 45% is good,
but I'll miss those delicate mountain flowers, and "The Sound of Music."

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Tanya: Unforgivable

As I walk through
This wicked world
Searchin' for sin in the lightness of sanity

I ask myself
Is no hope lost?
Is there no pain and hatred, and misery?

And each time I feel like this inside,
There's one thing I wanna know:
What's so funny 'bout greed lust & gluttony?

So where’s the spaghetti?
And who are the mollusks?
And where is the edelweiss?
Sweet edelweiss.

'Cause each time I feel it slippin' away, just makes me wanna cry.
What's so funny 'bout sloth pride & gluttony? Ohhhh

[Apologies. I think I may have just channeled Charles Austin]

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