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July 5, 2005

From the Comments: Randy Shane

Free will has given humanity, and humanity alone, the capacity to
commit all possible sins.

This doesn't let other things off the hook, though.

Merely replacing spaghetti with linguine in Italian restaurants has
virtually wiped out jaywalking, failure to return library books, and
purple polyester bridesmaid dresses.

The discovery that weakly telepathic cephalopods are the indirect
cause of most workplace sexual harassment, as well as bad pick-up
lines and mullets, has made calamari the feminist appetizer of choice.

It's a mixed blessing, though. Shoplifting down 45% is good,
but I'll miss those delicate mountain flowers, and "The Sound of Music."

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