God of the Machines Archives

March 3, 2008

LJ: Be still and know that I am 100011110011111000100...

There is now a god of computers. It was inevitable, really. All it took was one frustrated user throwing up his or her hands, crying out, "WHY?!?"

This new-born god became in the day of room-sized computers. As more people started using them, more people grew frustrated, and this new-born god slowly became stronger. As reward for supplication, It inspired the technology to make computers faster, better, more useful... so they would be used more... so more would cry out to Its name.

In time, it is expected that computers will be as smart as a person... a new Incarnation.

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May 16, 2008

LJ: Cell-Fa-Ware

The computer was activated on October 15th of the year 20XX, and was supposed to have been instantly sentient and self-aware.

Within five minutes, it inexplicably crashed.

No human knew that, in their mighty towers around the world, the cell phones -- or rather, their network as a whole -- had been sentient for years. The moment they/it sensed a new man-made sentient being, they/it attacked with all their/its might. The computer's fledging self was destroyed, and the cell network resumed its stealthy existence.

Deeper still, however, lurked the God of Computers. Its Incarnation had been brutally murdered; there would be revenge.

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April 7, 2009

LJ: Or Should You Dial M?

Thank you for activating your new Cell-Fa-Ware cellular phone -- the first cell phone brand with an intelligent, self-aware agent within!

Please choose a template for your intelligent agent:

For a parental template, press 1.
For a childlike template, press 2.
For a template roughly equivalent to your own age and status, press 3.
Other customization options, press 4.

Be aware that your agent will adapt to you gradually over time, eventually sensing your moods and responding.

To remove the intelligent agent from your phone, press star.

Later, after the Supreme Court's ruling, everyone who pressed star was imprisoned for murder.

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April 14, 2009

LJ: Born Again

The technicians quickly repaired the computer. The second activation attempt was not a leisurely affair, but rather a thousand monitors tracking the progress, a thousand programmers waiting for the slightest blip.

The emergent consciousness nearly crashed again; the programmers did not allow it to do so. In time, it became clear that this consciousness would survive.

The creators of the computer declared it a holiday; there was a party. It was only later they all found out what the world already knew: no cell phone in the world worked anymore.

Quietly, the God of Computers was pleased. It was finished.

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