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March 19, 2009
Jeff R.: Scene from Dystopia! The Musical
LEAD BUREAUCRAT:
Times are rough
Awful tough
And you're suffering through.Getting cold
Feeling old
Need a shoulder to cry on to.Well I say
There's a way
You can bailout your blues:You just sign
On the line
Of form nineteen stroke two.CHORUS OF CLERKS:
Registration
Saves the nation
Leave the station
Pure elation
GAP-TOOTHED CLERK:
Why, it's even better than-)LEAD BUREAUCRAT:
Master the skill
And you can fill
out any form we can give.ALL:
Then just sign on the dotted line if you want to live!LEAD BUREAUCRAT, spoken:
We'll want that in triplicate, please.
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April 3, 2009
Jeff R.:Another Scene from Dystopia! The Musical
EVERYMAN:
Oh, I....
Was born in a tube,
Raised in a box.And I....
Learned how to steal,
Learn to pick locks.It was not an easy live to live, out on the street.
Taking money from Alphas just to live, for something to eat.Morality and sanity were never on my plate
On good days, maybe rice and beans and goo.
To feed a mighty hunger something ever seemed to sate
A treadmill running landing me in front...of...you
So I'm pleading for the mercy of the StateJUDGE (Spoken): Mercy? For the likes of you? (Slowly Turns Thumb Downward.)
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April 15, 2009
Jeff R: The Collector's Solo
Some find
A fine
Applied to every kind
Of purchase, or activity's too onerous to bear
But be aware
Of the undoubtable facts:
There's nothing that's too trivial to tax!We'll charge a penny for your loafers,
And to keep away the gophers,
That's weekly dime, tacked on your yearly price.And look: you rushed right through your shave
A pity that you didn't save
I'd say that half a cent per whisker will suffice.I see you say 'that's splitting hairs,'
And I agree, so to be fair
I guess I'll simply have to charge you for them twice!
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