Caitlin Archives

June 11, 2007

Sealyon: Diver Down

Suited up, geared up, I check my hand-me-down regulator. All clear. We fall backwards into the pool, just like normal scuba divers.

It’s hard to see in the pool, it reeks, and we never swim up on a school of brightly colored reef fish. We never see sharks, moray eels, or unflappable green sea turtles. We do see dead bodies, furniture, random trash, and things unidentifiable jammed up against the outtake fan. We see them, and we haul them off the fan, out of the pool, allowing the citizens to safely flush for another day.

There’s the signal: lunch break.

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June 20, 2007

Sealyon: First Time

“I’m not sure we should do this.”

“Don’t be a dork. No one can see us.”

“It’s not like we can un-do it! What if everything changes?”

“Nothing is gonna change: we love each other, right?”

“Right! But –”

“Shhhhh, it’s almost time.”

The moon crests over the hill; it looks huge, big as the Earth itself. There’s a pause while the world seems to hold its breath. Flesh and fur fly as his skin stretches, rips, reconfigures itself. His howling is pure agony.

She cries quietly as he walks away, two-legged. Everything is different. The pack begins the hunt.

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June 21, 2007

Sealyon: Stolen from L. Cohen

while you were away,
something happened.

the flowers bloomed.
i graduated.
the dog died.
i had a terrible fight with aunt mona.
we drove to new mexico and discovered the desert.
i bought a goat, and i learned how to make cheese.
thomas had an affair.
aunt mona and i reconciled our differences.
i wrecked the car, twice.
sharon had a baby, a girl, like they’d wanted.
the flowers died.
we picked blackberries from the back pasture and ate them all before we got home.
some days, i hardly even thought of you.

i need you.
i don’t need you.

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June 28, 2007

Sealyon: Is that you, Zaphod?

The extra one? Extra what? Oh, the head. Yeah, well. No, most people don’t remark on it, as a matter of fact. It’s a little rude – he can hear you, y’know.

It’s quite the chick magnet, really. You don’t think so? Well, you’d be surprised how many girls go for that sort of thing, especially off-planet. Obviously you aren’t getting half the action I am, even with that extra hand.

How? Well, why don’t you just ask him? I’ve got some tail to chase.

Hey, sweet thing. I haven’t seen a torso like that since Sector 4729. Fancy a drink?

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July 27, 2007

Sealyon: Let Me Show You Something

Okay, open your eyes.

Okay. Wow, it’s really dark in here.

Yeah.

So… now what?

Now it rubs the lotion on its skin…

Cut it out. That’s not funny.

Sure it is. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Did you just bring me here to try and freak me out? ‘Cause it’s lame.

Whatever. Okay, are you ready?

Yes.

Are you really ready?

For Chrissakes, I’m ready, already.

Here we go!

“Here we go” what? What? Hello? I still can’t see shit. Am I supposed to be seeing something? I don’t know why I let -----

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July 30, 2007

Sealyon: But Wait - Don't Order Yet

As you can see, Tiffany, this is a quality item.

Oh, yes. You won’t find quality like this anywhere else!

And it’s made right here in the U-S-of-A. So not only are you getting top quality merchandise, but you’re helping Americans work.

That’s so important, Bob.

It really is, Tiffany. Now, I know our studio audience has been anxious to see this baby in action…

Sounds like they’re ready, Bob!

I think they are! Now, I want all of you to watch me closely… and… now!

Bob. They’re all dead. Again.

Shit. They were gonna fix that bug this time.

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August 23, 2007

Sealyon: Even Zombies Get the Blues

How can I be this hungry? he thought. I died 4 days ago.

And then he would think, How can I be thinking? I died. I remember it. How can I remember it?

And then, How can I be this hungry? Aren’t I dead?

His thoughts chase each other endlessly, always coming back to hunger. Hunger so overpowering that he doesn’t recognize his wife, his parents, his children, or his neighbors as he attacks them with a strange new strength, cracks their egg-like skulls, and gorges on the yolk inside. Finally satisfied.

How can I be hungry? Aren’t I dead?

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August 29, 2007

Sealyon: Crush

“My glash: empty! Thish ish unacceptable!” The man at the bar was practically shouting.

“I think you’ve had enough.” Sara moved the “glash” away from him.

“Lishen here, lady: do you know who I am?” He leaned menacingly over the bar, but the effect was spoiled by his swaying and squinting.

“Nope. Don’t care. No ‘speshul’ favors here.” Sara turned her back, and he lunged. Instantly a fine spray of black ink enveloped him. He sputtered, slipped, and fell in a boozy heap.

“Bradley.” Sara sighed. “You didn’t have to do that.”

Bradley blushed and went to fetch the mop.

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August 30, 2007

Sealyon: Late August

“What a gorgeous sunset! Doesn’t the light look different now?”

“What?” He couldn’t hear her over the din of what had to be one gazillion cicadas buzzing.

“The sunset! Isn’t it beautiful? The light almost looks like autumn!” She yelled the words at him.

Bzuzz, bzuzz, bzuzz.

“What?”

“I SAID THE LIGHT IS LOVELY!”

“WHAT? Wait, let me come over there… goddam bugs! How about an end to summer already?!?” He gestured ineffectually at the sky.

Bzuzz, bz –

“I SAID, ISN’T – oh, they’ve stopped. I said: isn’t the sunset is wonderful?”

“Yes.”

“Gosh, it’s gotten cold all of a sudden.”

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October 1, 2007

Sealyon: Another Sisyphus

Just as it's about to devour me, I wake up to someone gently shaking me. "Honey," she murmurs, "Wake up. You're yelling again."

I breathe heavily with the leftovers of the dream. It's always the same: I stumble upon it in the darkness, it pursues me, it catches me, and --

"Honey. Wake up. It's a dream."

She rubs my back as I try to sleep again. Try not to think about it. It is just a dream…

I wake myself up, screaming. She's not here: I knew that. I can hear it chuckling outside. It never lets me sleep long.

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