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April 4, 2008

Friday

The pizza man is here, but you don't have any money.

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Hammer Down

“The pizza man is here, but you don’t have any money?”

“I got moths in my wallet…and a fortune from Tao’s”

“You still have that Ball-peen hammer? Gimme.” Todd took the little metalworkers nightmare instrument from his roommate’s hand and, leaving the blue phosphorous glow of the television behind, stepped into the living room where the pizza man waited. With a motion as swift and effortless as a friendly handshake, Todd brought the rounded end of the hammer to the left temple of the pizza man’s head.

“There,” Todd said, “free pizza.” The pizza man twitched on the floor.

Posted by: Chris Thurlow at April 5, 2008 11:35 PM · Permalink

Pizza man is used to people conning him for free pizza, but he's never encountered me.

I'm a sexy woman with double Ds and I know how to use them to my advantage.

Turning the lights low, scenting the room with a strong pheromone based perfume, I open the door and flash my most seductive come hither smile.

I explain to pizza man that I am without cash as I slide the negligee down exposing my charms.

Pizza man views me with disgust, dropping the pizza and fleeing.

My, my you'd think he'd never seen a naked 64-year-old woman before!

Posted by: Sherry at April 14, 2008 12:17 AM · Permalink