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March 3, 2008

Monday

A new god has been born/created...

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"A new god has been born." The things I do to earn money for dinner. Even as an adjunct professor of theology, this takes the cake. "Begotten, not made." Is it too hard, people?

As I simmered around the classroom, handing back the midterms, the young man spoke up.

"Repent and be saved," he said.

Huh?

People shifted uneasily.

"Repent, be saved, the Kingdom is at hand," he said again.

A young woman giggled. Another reached for her cell.

"Jesus?" I mocked, handing him his paper.

"A new god has been born," he said.

“No, begotten.”

He shrugged, and left.

Posted by: Ironic Catholic at March 3, 2008 1:09 PM · Permalink

THE SPONTANEOUS CONCEPTION

Marie conceived a child. She drew him on the walls in red chalk.
At two, he was speaking.
At five, he killed ants and liked it.
At ten, he won the spelling bee.
At fifteen, he conquered a woman.
At twenty-five, he had five PhDs.
At thirty, he owned MicrosoftAOLTimeWarnerStarbucks.
At thirty-five, he became President.
At forty, nothing left to conquer, he remembered the ants.
At forty-three, on the night the new president was inaugurated, he launched the nuclear warheads, everyone died, and he went underground, the most powerful man in the world.
Marie promptly erased him, and started over.

Posted by: Nicolas Hoover at March 3, 2008 10:42 PM · Permalink