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December 5, 2007

Wednesday

Your photograph didn't turn out quite as planned...

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Alexa couldn't wait to use the camera she had gotten for her birthday. She pointed it at her friends, taking care to focus, and snapped her first picture. In a few moments, the camera whirred, and the picture slid out easily.

Alexa looked at the picture, and the excitement drained from her face. She popped open the back of the camera. A small Chinese man squinted up at her, his hand poised over a tiny easel.

"Mom!!" Alexa whined. "This isn't the camera I asked for!"

"I know, dear," her mom replied, "but the Michaelangelo models were just so expensive!"

Posted by: No One of Consequence at December 5, 2007 1:58 PM · Permalink

The Wedding

“I don’t know why they insisted on an evening ceremony.”

Shrug. “I don’t know why Edwin was too cheap to hire a photographer.”

“Really! You’d think they’d want photos for an album.”

“Well, I’ve been a bad old girl and brought my camera anyway. I figured I’d sneak a few candids and make a little scrapbook for their first anniversary.”

****

“Um, Hilda, I don’t think you’re going to be able to scrap these photos of the happy 'couple.'”

“Well, that does explain the nighttime wedding…”

“Hell, that explains the lack of garlic in that dreadful pasta sauce at the reception!”

Posted by: Ree at December 5, 2007 4:43 PM · Permalink

Janet's Debut

At fourteen, Janet sat in the Fenway bleachers watching the Sox beat the Yankees. With two outs in the seventh inning, two strikes on Lou Piniella, Janet reached under her t-shirt to adjust the growing breasts inside her new bra.

Piniella struck out.

The television camera caught Janet's adjustment.

Her family taped the game.

Janet is now thirty-seven, a cardiologist, and mother of two honor students.

This Thanksgiving dinner, Janet asked her brother to pass the gravy, and his response brought peals of laughter from around the table: "Hey, remember that time Janet played with her boobs on TV?"

Posted by: John Sheirer at December 5, 2007 6:51 PM · Permalink