« Previous Issue | Main | Next Issue »

September 25, 2007

Tuesday

...going slightly mad waiting for the phone to ring...

• Comments (2)     Bookmark: del.icio.us • Digg • reddit

David: Ten Years

I hate the telephone. I’ve been waiting for that one call for the last decade. Every time it rings, I jump, worrying that this is the one.

So far, it hasn’t been. It’s usually telemarketers or pushy cops trying to get me to buy a “No tickets please” sticker for my car window. That smells like institutionalized bribery to me, but I digress. I had to get caller ID , just so I’d know it wasn’t the call I’ve been dreading before I picked up.

The only thing worse than the day I’ll get that call would be if I couldn’t.

• Comments (0)     Bookmark: del.icio.us • Digg • reddit

Ted: Fear Induced Devolution

Sheri lukked at da fon. Yurp. redlite stil blinkin.

Sheri lukked at da fon, agin. Yurp. redlite stil blinkin. Blink blink blink

Why cum da lite blink, but no ring ring ring?

Sheri lukked at da fon, agin.

Sumone gotta call soon, tell when he gonna git home.

He say he call soon.

Hit fon, make lite stop. Wait, voice, cummin from the fone.

"garblegookwarblesnot"

Dam, not him. Where her boy at?

Caint call cops, dey hurt boy

Sheri lukked at da fon. Put back togedder.

Mens take boy from her, tell her dey call, but don.

cum on, ring!

• Comments (0)     Bookmark: del.icio.us • Digg • reddit