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August 6, 2007

David: The Thrilling Conclusion

Madigan lowered his machine gun. “That’s for my daughter,” he spat at the drug dealers lying bleeding before him.

“Madigan!” The chief’s voice slammed into the crack den, interrupting the cop’s reverie. He stumbled outside, into the spotlights and gun barrels of his fellow officers. “Now you’ve done it!” the chief continued. “The mayor’s gonna crawl up my ass and sleep there for a week after this. Hand in your gun and badge! Now!”

Madigan dropped his weapon, and fell to his knees beside it, exhausted. He looked up at the moon and softly whispered, “It’s over, baby. Rest now.”

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Comments

Three stars?! I've got a hackneyed plot, the characters are cliched and paper-thin, the denouement is both ridiculous and over far too quickly for what presumably is a book-length work, the characters aren't really reacting to each other, and I used the word "softly" to modify the word "whispered," a word which implies softness already. I wrote a flaming pile of crap, and to be given only three stars for it is insulting, frankly.

Posted by: David at August 6, 2007 8:30 PM · Permalink