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July 26, 2007

Thursday

A statue has been erected in your honor.

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Mr. Mortimer gestured “You like?” as the covering fell to the floor. “A six meter tall perfect image of you, accurate in every detail.”

“Well, the likeness is very pronounced, but the pecks could be bigger, and the… package more defined.”

“Yes, of course” the sculptor patronized.

“And the inscription…”

Mockingly “The inscription is perfecto!” the artist countered.

“No, the name should be bigger. Bigger pecks. Bigger package. Bigger name.”

“Yeesssss…, of course” slurred Mortimer, thinking ‘carved in stone’ means nothing to this man.

Later, Mortimer added a line to the headstone.

K.A. Sailoni
R.I.P.
1963-20??
Husband Father
Arrogant Bastard

Posted by: kipp at July 26, 2007 10:08 AM · Permalink

“We traveled to London for you to visit this statue? Plaque reads ‘Sir Joseph Bazalgette. Built the sewer system’. Why is this important?”

“I worked for his grandson, John Bazalgette. At the Mushroom Farm.”

“The grandson was a mushroom grower?”

“No. Mushrooms grow on horse manure. After the crops were harvested, we had to dispose of 1200 cubic yards of used horse poop. Each week.”

“1200 cubic yards of horse manure a week!”

“Yep. Transformed it into garden compost. Bagged it. Sold it.”

“Interesting family legacy.”

“Yes, I’d say both Bazalgettes deserve a statue for their skills in materials handling.”

Posted by: Barb at July 26, 2007 3:59 PM · Permalink

A storm raged as I found my way into the odd little town. As I continued down the long alley I was travelling, a jolt of lightning flashed and the sound of thunder followed with earth shattering force.

I was confronted with a statue erected in the main center of town. The statue was of a man in his late 30's. His expression indicated he was caught in a gruesome scene of horror of some kind.

Lighting struck the statue and it crumbled into dust. My heart began to pound out of my chest, The statue had been of me.

Posted by: J.T. Edwards at July 26, 2007 10:27 PM · Permalink

I especially liked the imagerastic content of KIPP's story. I have a collection of 100 word stories; I write between 7 to 15 per day. I wish I could figure this site out. Nice work to Barb as well.

Posted by: Andrew Finley at August 2, 2007 1:28 PM · Permalink