« Previous Issue | Main | Next Issue »

July 25, 2007

Wednesday

Today's theme is "the side effects of your new medication."

• Comments (1)     Bookmark: del.icio.us • Digg • reddit

David: Worse Than The Disease?

Harry read the data sheet from his new prescription.

“Hey, Sally! Check this out,” he called to his wife. “’Warning! May cause brainal leakage.’ Do you think they mistyped ‘anal leakage’, or does this stuff make my gray matter leak out my ears?”

“Stop shouting!” Sally called as she walked into the room. “I can hear you fine.”

Harry thought he hadn’t been shouting at all.

“Well, you were,” Sally replied. “You still are. I’m standing right here.”

Huh, Harry thought. Weird.

“It’s not weird; it’s annoying.”

What? Testing: I hate your mother.

“What’s Mom got to do with it?”

• Comments (0)     Bookmark: del.icio.us • Digg • reddit

Ted: What Money Can't Buy, Servitude May

"You understand what happens, yes? It will be seven years before you can walk on your own feet.”

I looked at the tiny, wizened, man. I had no choice. Everything and everyone had already been lost. Fortunes had been pissed away in the hunt for this little monkey of a man.

"Tenoc, your medicine is my last hope."

He nodded, opening my veins over a golden bowl.

He thrust another bowl to my lips as I was on the verge of fading away.

"Drink, white man. Drink of Coyote. You will walk on four feet for the next seven years."

• Comments (2)     Bookmark: del.icio.us • Digg • reddit

Jim : Origins... or... Man, Oh Man, Why Did I Take The Blue Pill?

Barely hiding his amusement, Dr. Burles looked up from the chart. “You happy to see me, Mr. Montoya?”

Al Montoya twisted onto his side under the sheet. “Geez, Doc,” he sighed, blushing. “It don’t want to go away. What’d you give me?”

“The usual concoction for heart arrhythmia: aspirin, beta-blockers, sildenafil citrate, nitroglycerin…”

“No offense, but ICUs usually don’t give me wood. Between you and me, the nurses here ain’t all that pretty.”

Dr. Burles grinned sympathetically, jotted a note, and left the tiny room. Once again, he wondered if the folks at Pfizer knew about this particular side effect.

• Comments (0)     Bookmark: del.icio.us • Digg • reddit