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June 20, 2007


I was a teenage ____________

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Sealyon: First Time

“I’m not sure we should do this.”

“Don’t be a dork. No one can see us.”

“It’s not like we can un-do it! What if everything changes?”

“Nothing is gonna change: we love each other, right?”

“Right! But –”

“Shhhhh, it’s almost time.”

The moon crests over the hill; it looks huge, big as the Earth itself. There’s a pause while the world seems to hold its breath. Flesh and fur fly as his skin stretches, rips, reconfigures itself. His howling is pure agony.

She cries quietly as he walks away, two-legged. Everything is different. The pack begins the hunt.

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David: In Japan, This Makes Perfect Sense

I was a teenaged lesbian stripper ninja catgirl, infiltrating the offices of Shaitan megacorp, when I encountered my arch-nemesis: a gay prudish pirate dogboy.

“Your lesbian stripper powers are useless against me!” he taunted.

“As are your homo-moralizing powers,” I countered.

“So, we face each other in the old fashion, ninja versus pirate. Let us settle this.”

“Wait! Do you even know what you’re protecting? The lost journals of Blackbeard Horumi.”

“The fabled progenitor ninja-pirate? Impossible.”

“Join forces with me, and we can end centuries of pointless warfare.”

He glowered at me. “Ninjas killed my parents.”

“So be it.” Shing!

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Dave: The Best Years of Our Lives

Roger sighed.  "Okay.  I grew up in New Jersey.  I ... ran with some guys your mom wouldn't have liked.  Had some problems with ... the ... stuff."  He gestured toward his head.

"Headaches?" Chrys asked.

"No.  The visions.  And ... stuff."

"Such a talent is revered among the civilized."

"Yeah, well, we're talking about Jersey.  I got called 'freak,' 'pansy,' and 'under the influence of vile fiends of the pit.'  Made getting a date for the prom a real pain in the kiester."

"You found one, then?" Chrys raised an eyebrow.  "Did you enjoy yourself?"

Roger smiled. "Until her dad tried to sacrifice me to the Elder Gods."

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