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June 20, 2007

David: In Japan, This Makes Perfect Sense

I was a teenaged lesbian stripper ninja catgirl, infiltrating the offices of Shaitan megacorp, when I encountered my arch-nemesis: a gay prudish pirate dogboy.

“Your lesbian stripper powers are useless against me!” he taunted.

“As are your homo-moralizing powers,” I countered.

“So, we face each other in the old fashion, ninja versus pirate. Let us settle this.”

“Wait! Do you even know what you’re protecting? The lost journals of Blackbeard Horumi.”

“The fabled progenitor ninja-pirate? Impossible.”

“Join forces with me, and we can end centuries of pointless warfare.”

He glowered at me. “Ninjas killed my parents.”

“So be it.” Shing!

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