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March 8, 2007


One word: Spicy.

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Tanya: Untitled

The bank customers ducked and hid as shots rang out, and the alarm began to wail.

“This is a rob…”

The gunman didn’t even get the words out before he was kicked in the head, then punched in the stomach. The hostages cheered. The day would be saved!

Pow! The hoodlum by the vault was felled by a kick!

Conk! The two men by the tellers had their heads smashed together!

The would-be bank robbers begged for their lives, as the brave crime-fighters collected their weapons and called the police.

“Good job, Ginger.”

“All in a day’s work, Sporty.”

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Jim: An Alternative

Captain Teft braced himself against the aft mast while his square-rigged brig, De Voorschoten, fought the wind. Another wave washed over the deck and quickly flowed out the scuppers.

Despite the storm, the British privateer continued to gain on Teft’s heavy Dutch East Indies vessel. Teft’s only hope for escape was to drop a cargo more precious than gold.

Or maybe just half…

Teft gave the command to dump 150 kegs of nutmeg and cinnamon. The Brits would be too busy chasing flotsam to continue the hunt.

The British stole some profits. But more importantly, Teft would keep his ship.

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Stacy: Capitalism

There it was… newspun cotton, dyed a delicate shade of blue. She reached out a wondering hand to touch it, and was snapped across the knuckles with a ruler.

“No handling the merchandise, you,” growled the shopkeeper, eyeing her over the tops of half-glasses.

She ignored him, imagining wonderful things from the cloth.

“H-how much? I have peppermint,” she added hopefully.

The shopkeeper sneered.

“More than you can afford. And peppermint’s been taken off the exchange, it’s a penny spice now”

She visibly drooped, then brightened.

“Do you accept paprika?”

The shopkeeper’s greedy eyes fairly sparkled.

“Right this way, madam!”

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Jeff R.: Condiments

When giant radioactive lizards trample major metropolitan areas, they're constantly scooping up people and eating them. Now, it's obvious that this isn't their primary diet: there's little caloric value in a human on their scale and they spend most of their time at sea where there're no people. No, they mainly eat whales and giant squid and such.

Thing is, though, whale and calimari sushi are mighty bland on the giant-monster palate, but people, people are infused with all kinds of tasty local flavors. And Tokyo gets hit most often of all because nothing goes better with sushi than wasabi...

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Ted: Penny Spice

After convincing Dunn that my tale was true (by showing him my 'today' self eating lunch at Ugly Sue's pub), I was able to get him to understand what would happen when Penny showed up here agitated and worried about her dad.

"So I need to get to her dad before he goes poof or whatever. But if I don't, you have to stop Penny from wrecking my neighborhood. You will be a hero who saved thousands of pounds of damage and numerous injuries."

"Fine. You win. How are you gonna rescue her daddy?"

"Easy. Parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme."

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