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February 27, 2007


Another one word theme today: clown.

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Jim: You Deserve Some Fame Today

“We’ve all seen the ratings for a talent show like American Idol,” the young advertising exec eagerly told the board members.

“Even copycats like Dancing With The Stars and that program about starring in Grease on Broadway do well, both in ratings and high advertising dollars,” added his senior associate.

The younger man piped in, “Don’t forget that Donald Trump show.”

“Add our own saturating product placement to a talent show that we produce and we can’t lose.”

“Best of all,” concluded the junior exec. “The public will choose the new Ronald McDonald every year so we don’t have to.”

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David: Bobo Of The Apocalypse

Bobo strode through the ruins of civilization. He gazed upon the rubble of the once-proud city and mimed a tear rolling down his cheek. He pulled out a handkerchief to wipe away the tear and the collected grime of what seemed an eternity amid the smoke and haze. The first was red, tied to white, green, yellow, blue, orange, violet. At the end was a pair of heart-patterned boxer shorts.

He released the fabric into the radiation-tinged breeze and honked his red, bulbous nose. Putting one giant shoe in front of the other, Bobo went forth to meet his destiny.

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Ted: Copycat


"You're gonna hafta see this shit yourself. I'm puttin in for a transfer."

So I looked a question at the other officer. She looked all of twenty.. ..gods was I ever that green?

"He was the clown at my 13th birthday party. OH GOD!! BOBO YOU BASTARD!!!!"

Two other officers took her away with calming voices. Damn. Good-bye to her career.

"Is there anyone here who either saw what happened or was a first responder?"

Smythe came through a door at the rear of the room. "Jason, we gotta talk. Upstairs."

"First it was your damn clones, now this."

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Jeff R.: 0: The Fool

Ronald McDonald first appeared on television in 1963, the same year Alcatraz shut down and Kennedy was killed. This is not a coincidence.

Apart from the late unpleasantness in Kosovo, (a mere reflection of a higher-order conflict and thus shouldn't count) no two countries both containing a McDonalds have been to war. The pure fool does not battle himself.

Once the count was recorded, more or less accurately, on thousands of signs across the nation, incrementing by millions, then billions. Now they're all over vague, waiting for the halcyon day when the clown serves his trillionth hunk of dead cow.

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