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February 13, 2007

2.13.07

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Comments

We checked the nanny’s references. Even did a Google search

She came up clean, but it turned out she was batshit crazy.

A month later, we were sitting down to a candlelight dinner at Rico’s when my cell rang.

It was a neighbor calling about the noise.

We got home just in time to stop the psycho bitch from cutting off another of our baby’s toes.

“They grow back,” the nanny shrieked. “Like a starfish!”

No, they don’t.

Two grew back. Like The Lernaean Hydra.

I flipped a coin, and my wife lost.

She cuts, and I’ll burn the stump.

Posted by: Planet Z at February 13, 2007 10:14 AM · Permalink

Life is hard, really hard. Everybody needs a tiny bit of a crutch once in a while, right?

Besides, its my life, right?

I mean, listen, I’ve given my life to mission control. I’ve been their good girl astronaut.

I’ve paid my dues too. I didn’t sleep my way in, I didn’t get chosen just for being a woman, I worked my ass off. And I never complained either. I never looked for special treatment, and I never, never, asked for anything. But if I’m supposed to sit in this chair and sleep for 16 years, give me my ambien!

Posted by: kasac at February 13, 2007 5:37 PM · Permalink