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October 13, 2006


As today is Friday the 13th, we'd like to see stories having to do with a run of really bad luck.

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Jim: The Houseguest

“We need to discuss my mother, dear.”

That fat cow of a mother-in-law has brought me nothing but misery. She’s hated me from day one!

“Momma fell down her apartment stairs and broke her hip.”

Hooray! There is karma!

“But the worst part is that she fell right into a neighbor’s hot BBQ grill. He accidentally knocked her into a coma when he rolled her to put out the flames.”

Ouch! Hee-hee.

“Then her Medicare ran out so now she needs to come live with us.”

Groan. How can my luck get any worse?

“And I’ll need help bathing her.”

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David: Could Be Raining

His alarm didn’t go off. He was late for work and missed the 9 o’clock meeting. His boss fired him. During lunch (which gave him salmonella) some kids keyed his car and flattened his tires. His cellphone battery was dead, and the payphone had gum on it, which he didn’t notice in time. The tow truck ran the light, and got sideswiped by a Hummer. Both drivers were illegal and didn’t have insurance. He was mugged walking to his house, which was on fire. He got a letter from the IRS in a red envelope.

Then he found a penny.

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Ted: Bad Penny

EVERYTIME, dammit.

I saw Penny coming, towards MY flat. So I ran like hell the other way.

It didn't help.

I tripped over Steve's legs, which had re-grown and put him right out of the begging business.

I lurched into the chip shop, causing Ugly Sue to drop her rutabagas. Uglier Sue slipped on them, sent her sausage flying into the hot oil, which exploded and set the shop ablaze.

The fire brigade arrived and struck oil when they tapped the hydrant, setting the whole block ablaze except for my walk-up, where Penny waited to greet me. Again. Happy Friday.

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Stacy: Vacation

Lost. Goddamned Yellowstone tour guide. We should have checked his ID, or something…do you have to be licensed to be a guide?

We’d have been ok if stupid Steven hadn’t gotten scalded by that geyser. What kind of idiot thinks the park service actually digs holes for you to take a dump in? At least he’s stopped screaming now. The moaning is irritating but not quite as bad.

I wonder when they’ll send out a search party. Or if. I don’t think we told anyone where we were going…did we? Oh well, at least there are no bears.

Uh oh…

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