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November 9, 2005

Volume 8, Issue 9

"Look at you Hacker; a pathetic creature of meat and bone, panting and sweating as you run through my corridors. How can you challenge a perfect, immortal machine?" - Shodan from System Shock 2

Write about raging against a machine.

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Comments

It sits perched there, staring at me, its malevolent eyes staring back at me, pulsating, blinking, daring me to do my worst. My head is pounding and my pulse racing to the rhythm of that evil stare, as I reach again for the control. I quickly refer to the manual and key in a series of commands, and the machine clicks, whirs, and ka-thunks several times, its gaze never losing a beat. I cower in the corner, beaten, defeated, brought to my knees by this infernal machine.
12:00 ... 12:00 ... 12:00 ... How do you set the correct time on a VCR?

Posted by: hnumpah at November 9, 2005 4:58 AM · Permalink

I never met a sweeter, more even-tempered lady than old Mrs. Magee.

Take the time her husband left her for his young secretary. “These things happen,” she smiled sweetly.

Or when those crooked contractors scammed her life savings. “Live and learn,” she laughed.

And when she broke her hip in the supermarket aisle. “I hope I didn’t break the floor,” she confided in me.

Now I have to admit I’m as mystified as everybody else. Why is she up in that tower with a deer rifle shooting at pedestrians? And why on Earth is she screaming about a broken vibrator?

Posted by: Jim Parkinson at November 9, 2005 10:07 AM · Permalink

Duck!

Posted by: D at November 9, 2005 10:36 AM · Permalink

Good one D!!!!

Posted by: kasac at November 9, 2005 11:00 AM · Permalink

That would have been an excellent title, D!

Posted by: Jim Parkinson at November 9, 2005 5:10 PM · Permalink

I must apologise for shamelessly using your duck the other day Jim, it was my get-outta-painted-corner-free card as I ran out of ideas for a punchline.

Posted by: D at November 10, 2005 3:09 AM · Permalink

No problem, D. I think somebody important once said, "Nobody can truly own a duck."

Or maybe not.

Posted by: Jim Parkinson at November 10, 2005 6:51 AM · Permalink

Some quackpot, no doubt.

Posted by: hnumpah at November 10, 2005 8:15 AM · Permalink