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November 8, 2005

Volume 8, Issue 8

You're late, you're late, for a very important date!

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The Eschatologist: An Early Warning Detection System

"It's called being fashionably late, love."

"You know how I am, John. I hate being late."

"We make a grand entrance when everyone's already arrived."

"What a bad idea! What will people say?"

"We're decked out in our finest - top hat, tails, and jewels in plenty!"

"What will I wear when we're announced?! Oh, stress!"

"Yes, but this is planned. It's designed to have everyone focus their attention on us. Err... you."

"It was just so unplanned! All of our efforts are going down the drain..."

"Are we talking about the same thing?"

"Is there an echo in here?"

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Ted: There I Was...

The helo was late to the LZ... again. I turned to Chop to ask him to call in. He was gone.

"What the fuck?" I whispered to myself, blood from the wound in my side seeping through the field bandage. It wasn't like Chop had never faded before, but usually he gave me a heads up.

"Chop? Chop? Come on, we don't have time for this shit! I gotta get back to CON and get some blood. Get back here and pop smoke, asshole!"

Chop oozed back out of the brush. "Don't worry Cowboy, you'll be late for your funeral."

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D: Waltons: The Next Generation

Oh no... this ain't good. What'ma 'supposed to dew? I ain’t ever been this late before, 'cept that one time last month when it never came. Maybe ah've reached that many-pause thing? I wonder if I better ask Cleetus. Cleetus'll know fer sure. Din't Mary-Sue kill a rabbit to find out? Seemed she had some buns inna oven, least that’s what she said and then Mama said "Girlie, its time to meet Gra’mama's knitting needle." Guess she needed it to test the temperature.

Lawd, please don’t let me be pregnant, and please don’t let it be no ‘tarded baby. Amen.

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