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November 21, 2005

Volume 8, Issue 21

You rescued the maiden from the dragon and are heading home...

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We lost a full day returning to the dragon's lair because the Princess had forgotten her makeup case.

She demanded we stop at each field so she could pick fresh flowers for her hair. She would not eat the game I killed. The ground was too hard to sleep on. The streams were too cold to wash in. And every half-hour, she had to go pee.

I decided it wasn't worth the King's offer of her hand in marriage for rescuing her. I left her standing at the drawbridge to her castle, and rode off as fast as I could.

Posted by: hnumpah at November 21, 2005 6:11 AM · Permalink

Saddles are not made for two people. While I found her nubile figure very appealing at first, all I feel now is her bony body clutching me so she can stay atop the horse.

“Only a few days more, Princess Sapphira, and we’ll arrive at your father’s castle.”

“What?” she asks over the clop of the horse’s hooves.

“We will soon be at your father’s castle, Princess. Then you will be reunited with your family and I shall claim my reward.”

“Not that,” she says. “What did you call me?”

“Princess Sapphira?”

“That’s not my name!”

Damn! Wrong dragon!

Again.

Posted by: Jim Parkinson at November 21, 2005 9:03 PM · Permalink

"It's a good thing you rescued me from that dragon," she said.

"Uh-huh," I said.

"He was going to eat me." She stretched. "I can't blame him - I mean, just look at these arms and legs, trained by years of calisthenics. I'll bet the meat on me is just fantastic."

"Uh-huh," I said.

"Fingers are probably tasty, too - I play the piano." She smiled and winked at me.

There was a kind of awkward pause.

She continued. "And these ribs - " Suddenly, she seized me by the shoulders. "Eat me! Eat me! Eat me!"

God, I always get the weird ones.

Posted by: G-Do at November 21, 2005 9:32 PM · Permalink