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October 14, 2005

Volume 7, Issue 14

You are visited by a very real and very injured god...

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D: Elder Bitterness

And they put his armour in the house of their gods, and fastened his head in the temple of Dagon.

I Chronicles 10:10

You are the last of the Philistines, said the voice in my head, and the last to believe in me still. You guard my temple and my armor. Your bloodline was duty bound to protect the ark of God. You are the progeny of Samson and the harlot Delilah.

I was bested in celestial combat; you must return my body to the monolith to preserve my life... and you tell me you’re too busy watching "Lost"?!

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Ted: Modern Medicine

Billy Many Hands woke up to pain sounds. Rolling over and looking at the other couch in his double-wide's living room, his first thought was that his pap had come home drunk. It was Fox again. Cut up pretty bad this time.

"Coyote finally got mad enough to fight back, Billy. Pulled that damn obsidian blade."

"I told he'd do that one day. Were you gambling again?"

"Yeah. He used to be a good loser though."

"What did you win?"

"His penis. Turned him into a bitch."

"Shit, Fox. You know how much life is gonna suck this full moon?"

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Michele: I'll feel you burn!

“I am the god of hellfire and I bring you.......FIRE!”

The rags went up in a flash.

“Heff, the garage is catching fire!” The room was creeping with flames and thick smoke.

Heff and I ran for the door, but I tripped over something. I heard a moan and felt around my feet.

“Heff, it’s grandpa. He’s on fire!” We dragged him to the lawn and rolled him. When the flames died, he rose up and bellowed:

“ You are NOT the GOD OF HELLFIRE! YOU ARE THE GRANDSON OF THE GOD OF HELLFIRE!”

“Sorry, Grandpa Hephaestus. Won’t happen again.”

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