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October 14, 2005
Volume 7, Issue 14
You are visited by a very real and very injured god...
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When the paramedics brought the patient in, he had an enormous quantity of blood-soaked gauze wrapped around his abdomen. I began the preliminary examination.
“What have you done?” he asked.
“I was going to ask you the same question,” I replied, cutting away the bandages.
“It was only supposed to be fire,” he scowled. “Why couldn’t you people have been happy with that?”
“Whatever,” I said while injecting an anesthetic.
As he lost consciousness, he mumbled, “At least I killed that damned eagle."
After suturing, I summoned a staff psychiatrist. Maybe he could make some sense of this guy’s babbling.
Posted by: Jim Parkinson at October 14, 2005 10:06 AM · Permalink
She was obviously in great pain, and I helped her onto the table. Her pulse was still strong, a good sign. She was cut and battered, though, very filthy, and she smelled pretty badly. Her breathing was just a bit irregular, reactions a bit slowed as though she were groggy or tired, and her temperature was up a bit - probably some sort of infection.
"What happened?" I asked as I tended her wounds as best I could.
"The race," she muttered, her voice trailing off.
"Race?" I asked. "Did you fall or something?"
"No," Gaia replied tiredly, "The human race..."
Posted by: hnumpah at October 14, 2005 12:33 PM · Permalink
“Give me the bullet.”
“Caucasian male, early 30’s, through and through punctures in hands and feet, stab wound in left torso, multiple lacerations and contusions. Pulse-ox 80, BP 100 over 60 on two units O-neg. Also dehydration and exposure.”
“What happened?”
“Someone beat him and nailed him to a telephone pole. Possibly gang related. Found him on Romans turf.”
“What’s on his head? Barbed wire?”
“He’s in v-fib!”
“Amp of epi, charge paddles to 250. Clear!” The patient’s eyes opened, and he grabbed the doctor’s wrist. “He’s awake!”
“Still v-fib. That’s impossible….”
He spoke. “You know not what you do.”
Posted by: David at October 14, 2005 12:54 PM · Permalink
Good choice! You did pick a real God!
Posted by: Eric at October 14, 2005 2:29 PM · Permalink
He did?
Posted by: Ted at October 14, 2005 2:41 PM · Permalink
"He came to me bloody and torn, his microphone and tape recorder smashed. He did it because the people had to know and he had to be there to tell about it. With one last breath...he died. That man was a god!" sighed Les Nessman as he dabbed at a splotch of shaving cream. "Today is the day for journalistic greatness!"
Caught up in the euphoria of the vision, Les left home unaware that he left the iron plugged in. He went on to work and missed the biggest fire story he would ever have the opportunity to report about.
Posted by: Eric at October 14, 2005 3:01 PM · Permalink
>He did?
Yes, he did. He was referring to Jesus Christ.
John 8:58 through John 8:59 (NIV)
58“I tell you the truth,” Jesus answered, “before Abraham was born, I am!” 59At this, they picked up stones to stone him, but Jesus hid himself, slipping away from the temple grounds.
They picked up the stones because they knew he was claiming deity. He claimed it, proved it by raising from the dead, I believe it.
Posted by: Eric at October 14, 2005 3:06 PM · Permalink
I believe that Glenmorangie is the finest single-malt Scotch I ever drank but you don't see me saying it here.
Oops. I just did.
Never mind.
Posted by: Jim Parkinson at October 14, 2005 3:33 PM · Permalink
>>I believe that Glenmorangie is the finest single-malt Scotch I ever drank but you don't see me saying it here.
Oops. I just did.
Never mind.
Which proves a point. If something is important to you along the lines of personal tastes, likes, dislikes, political stands, etc. it is going to come out of you in some form or another...otherwise it just isn't that important...to you, that is. It is not my intention to make use this forum as an evangelistic tool but the subject of Christ will nearly always push a button with me, as He is integral part of my life.
Posted by: Eric at October 14, 2005 4:00 PM · Permalink
But I specifically used the little 'g' there to indicate "a" god, not "the" god of the Xtians.
Posted by: Ted at October 14, 2005 5:57 PM · Permalink
>>It is not my intention to make use this forum as an evangelistic tool but...
Remove that "but" and you'll be quite correct.
Posted by: Stacy at October 14, 2005 6:10 PM · Permalink
Fine...It is not my intention to make use this forum as an evangelistic tool HOWEVER the subject of Christ will nearly always push a button with me, as He is integral part of my life...and I may post a reaction to it. Fine...It is not my intention to make use this forum as an evangelistic tool HOWEVER the subject of Christ will nearly always push a button with me, as He is integral part of my life...and I may post a reaction to it.
Ted, regardless of what you meant my "god" there are a variety of reactions that will come from such a theme. Mine is one of them.
Posted by: Eric at October 14, 2005 6:54 PM · Permalink
Geez, didn't mean to cause a ruckus. The challenge said injured god. He's arguably the most famous one.
I suppose I could've done Odin at the optemetrist or Hephaestus at the orthopedist.
Plus, I thought it would be funny. Any similarity to a real god, living or dead, is purely coincidental. For topical use only. Do not take internally.
The last thing I'd want to do is be the cause of evangelism.
Posted by: David at October 14, 2005 6:57 PM · Permalink
YUR MY HERO
Posted by: Ted at October 14, 2005 7:03 PM · Permalink
The challenge also said, 'real' god...hence, I personally shied away from the subject and stuck with Les. I commented on a concept that I thought was admirable, albeit not intended by the author. Mocking the gospel is something that I used do for fun and/or profit before I started wearing it on my sleeve. It does sadden me a bit that the idea of Christ as God or rather, the idea of spreading that idea around, gets people so riled up...but, however, (insert your favorite conjunction) I've been there and done that, too so I don't have the right to be offended (mocked the gospel/gotten riled up by evangelism).
Posted by: Eric at October 14, 2005 8:29 PM · Permalink
When I was a tad, my friends at school and I would save a milk carton from our lunch. This was the arena into which we would put one giant black carpenter ant and 3 or 4 smaller red ants. Ants instinctively battle other any species. Bets were even placed, usually in the form of candy, on which type of ant would emerge victorious.
I have not thought about that for decades.
However, this same morbid desire for gladitorial combat really makes me want to put Eric (the Christ proselytizer) and Laurence (the Christ denigrator) together in a milk carton.
I've got a Three Musketeers. Any takers?
Posted by: Jim Parkinson at October 14, 2005 11:19 PM · Permalink
Jim, I was wondering if anyone else would ask...I'll see your 3M and raise you a Marathon Bar.
Posted by: Ted at October 15, 2005 4:37 AM · Permalink
Religion, ahugh! What is it good for?
Posted by: D at October 17, 2005 1:41 AM · Permalink