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August 27, 2005

Volume 5, Issue 27

I just opened up the throttle on my computer by bumping up the memory.

So tell me about speed.

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Comments

"Son, are you aware you were pushing one hundred and fifteen in a fifty-five mile an hour zone?"

"Officer, are you aware that at this very moment, a wall of screeching, hungry monkeys is rushing down on this valley, and unless we get out right now there's a good chance we'll both die?"

"I'm gonna have to ask you to step out of the car."

Jed pushed the stick and floored it.

The officer cussed and turned, only to see a wall of monkeys, some eighty feet high and wide as the horizon, bearing down on him from the hilltop.

Posted by: G-Do at August 27, 2005 1:28 PM · Permalink

I had been up two days straight. Two papers, a lab project, and, as if all that were not enough, a Thermo final. Twenty-four hours in a day was just not enough.

Forty hours in a day would not have been enough.

It was a damn good thing I had a friend in the Chemistry Department.

Charlie fixed me up with a vial of clear blue liquid. Just a drop or two, he said. This shit's like The New Accelerator, and you don't want to go too fast.

But I took five.

750 posts later, and I'm still up. Shit.

Posted by: Elisson at August 27, 2005 9:19 PM · Permalink

“Man, I’ve got a real pain going down my spine “

“Does it hurt to bend over?”

“Yeah…”

“Does it hurt when you raise yours arm over your shoulders?”

“Yeah …”

“ Wow, I had an uncle who had those exact same symptoms , down to a tee “

“Geez, what happened ‘

“ You need to go see a doctor. They said if he hadn’t gone to see the Doc he would have had only six months.”

“Shit !!”

“ Yeah. But get this – He was dead two weeks later !!”

“Holy Cow , did it come back or some thing ?!!”

“ Nah, he got run over by a speeding semi .”

Posted by: drackip at August 28, 2005 12:18 AM · Permalink