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August 28, 2005

Volume 5, Issue 28

The theme for today is the word tooth.

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Michele: Little Bastard

On his eight birthday, little Jimmy Haversham lost a bottom tooth. I was perched in a tree when it happened and I saw him threaten the poor boy whose errant elbow caught Jimmy’s mouth.

“I swear, you will die!” cried Jimmy.

That night, Jimmy wrote a note to me, the tooth fairy:

Don’t give me stupid qawters. I want big muney. Or I will skwish you under my shoo lik I did to that litenin bug.

And so Jimmy Haversham, bad speller and rotten kid, woke up with a couple of maggots dropping eggs where his tooth used to be.

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