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July 29, 2005

Volume 4, Issue 29

Who am I to break a pattern?

Today's theme is...

earth

Or, if you will, Earth.

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Comments

"Yoo hoo! Leroy! Earth to Leroy... come in Leroy!"

Leroy sank down further at his desk. I hope she doesn't call me up to the front of the class again. I've got this bulging sensation again.... why does this keep happening to me?

It was Gladys' fault, he always thinking about Gladys nowadays.

All he used to think about was going fishing and catching frogs with his friend Elmer down by the river.

"Elmer, Yoo Hoo, Earth to Elmer!"....

Across the room, Elmer sank down further at his desk,...why am I always thinking about Leroy nowadays.....and what's this bulging sensation?

Posted by: K. Brown at July 29, 2005 7:46 AM · Permalink

The serum has paralyzed me. My family believes I am dead. My breathing is slow and shallow as to be undetectable. My heartbeat is so faint it seems I have no pulse. I am numb. I cannot feel pain. But I can hear. What I hear now is the ever-softening thud of earth being heaped upon the roof of my new home, only inches above me.

I can hear, but I cannot panic. My mind races, but I do not sweat. I do not gasp. I can only wait.

Until my captor exhumes me; then the real panic will begin.

Posted by: Mr. Parx at July 29, 2005 8:02 AM · Permalink

"There is a country," said the sailor, "far past the burnin sea and the kingdom o Prester John. Rumor has it, you needs to sail south o the frozen clouds under the world, and then you'll find her."

"Find what?" we asked.

"The land o turmoils, forever bein struck by the earthquakes and the volcanoes. And there, in a cave deep below the ground, guarded by creatures made up o boilin gold, you'll find the hidden treasure o Paraffin Jack."

"Which is?"

"A second world," growled the salt. "An earth untouched by our modern princes and their wars and vices."

Posted by: G-Do at July 29, 2005 8:47 AM · Permalink

I know what you're thinking. 'The Earth is round.' But have you sailed around it yourself? Why trust those who say that have? Pictures from space? I prefer 'Star Wars' to the Apollo program; the effects were better. Ships dipping over horizons? An optical illusion, like how the Moon appears huge near those same horizons.

Listen: I hold faith because I myself have been not merely to the edge but the four corners, Olympian mountains in the massive bowl the cartographic conspiritors claim to be an 'antarctic continent'. I have brought wonderous things, but more: I have brought back photographs.

Posted by: Jeff R. at July 29, 2005 10:07 AM · Permalink

He put the shovel to the earth one last time.

"Goodbye again, old friend."

He awaited the next full moon with some anticipation. He heard a scratching at the back door. He sighed, got up, and opened it. There was Sam, looking somewhat the worse for wear after being dead these past six months. There was an offering of a gopher on the porch step.

"Good kitty."

He let Sam in, noting that Sam's rib and hip bones were now completely exposed. He knew that tomorrow morning Sam would be lifeless again.

"This time I'll have to bury you deeper."

Posted by: david at July 29, 2005 11:04 AM · Permalink

Apologies to those who miss thier pets, but this is the idea that came to me. Whether it's bad or not is up to the plus/minus fairy.

Posted by: david at July 29, 2005 11:05 AM · Permalink

Prologue: "Not that there's anything wrong with that, Elmer!"

Posted by: K. Brown at July 29, 2005 11:35 AM · Permalink

David- I'll just take a wild guess and assume you're refering to me in your apologies. I liked your story very much. And if your curious and a sick little monkey, Edloe's ashes have yet to be scattered.

Posted by: Laurence Simon at July 29, 2005 12:43 PM · Permalink

"Now, to be a really great band, your name has to have something missing."

"What do you mean?"

"Like Blood, Sweat, and Tears. See, Toil is missing from the original quote, so they got to make a ton on money."

"Oh. Or like Water being left out of Earth, Wind, and Fire?"

"Exactly."

"What about Peter, Paul, and Mary?"

"No John. And I don't have to tell you that Crosby, Stills, and Nash are infinitely better without Young."

"Okay, but what about Emerson, Lake, and Palmer? Who'd they leave out to be good?"

"You have to ask? Obviously George Ringo."

Posted by: Jeff R. at July 29, 2005 3:54 PM · Permalink

Yeah, you were top on my list. I haven't lost a pet in a while.

Posted by: david at July 30, 2005 12:27 AM · Permalink

The vial had no objective value. Subjectively, however, it was his most valuable possession. All of his clan wore one just like it around their necks.

It was the first gift given to a newborn child, and the last gift given back to the clan by their dead. Each vial contained trace elements of the ashes of all the ancestors that had come before. Upon death, each person's ashes were added to the contents of their vial, and distributed among all the available clan members to be added to their vials.

One day, the ashes would be returned to Earth.

Posted by: Gahrie at July 30, 2005 8:53 AM · Permalink