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June 30, 2005

Volume 2, Issue 30

This one should be simple:

The theme word today is

PEPPERMINT

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Comments

'Peppermint' Paulie, the most feared hit man in the business, used gun, knife or garrote equally well, but preferred to work up close. The last thing most of his victims ever knew was the smell of peppermint as a garrote tightened around their throat, or a stiletto slashed it.

Paulie's boss, Fat Tony, was fussy about dental hygeine, but Paulie had always loved the peppermints, hence his nickname.

As he got into his car, he got a whiff of cinnamon, as a garrote dropped around his throat and pulled tight. "Fat Tony says goodbye," were the last words he heard.

Posted by: hnumpah at June 30, 2005 6:39 AM · Permalink

It’s important to have the right kind of peppermint stick. The candy needs to be soft to the touch and porous.

The kind of peppermint stick you usually see is all wrong. That candy is solid and shiny as epoxy resin. They usually make candy canes with that kind of peppermint.

Any kind of orange will work. The ones with seeds are usually juicier. Roll the orange and mash it without breaking the peel. Then pierce the orange with a knife and suck the juice out with the peppermint stick.

Do I have to teach you how to do everything?

Posted by: Jim Parkinson at June 30, 2005 6:45 AM · Permalink

Ruth poured from several vials into the porcelain sink. “It took me nine tries to get the formula,” she said. “Hence the name.” She ladled the finished black liquid into a small bottle. “Just slip some of this into the young lady’s drink when you two are alone.”

Jerry took a sniff. “This is just motor oil! I’m not putting this into Lisa’s drink. It’ll kill her!”

Ruth smiled, gold caps flashing ominously in the candlelight. “There is another potion – tested and sure. It’ll cost you more though. A lot more.”

So Jerry left with Love Potion #10. Peppermint Schnapps.

Posted by: Jim Parkinson at June 30, 2005 8:21 AM · Permalink

The spring days became longer and the blue ice blankets crept back up the hillsides, clearing the fjord. Olaf, the shaman, found the precious plant among the rocks. He mixed the oil from the pungent leaves with water and rubbed the mixture on his skin. This kept the swarming insects from stinging so he could do his work.

Olaf was busy gathering seeds, tubers and medicinal herbs for the warriors about to go Viking. He walked slowly, focused on the ground at his feet.

Too late, Olaf saw the bear, freshly awakened from hibernation and looking for a breath mint.

Posted by: Jim Parkinson at June 30, 2005 10:11 AM · Permalink

"So there we were, finished with the salad, waiting for the veal, when Finnegan walks in, hands in his pockets-"

"We didn't see him, but this kid-"

"Hey, who's telling this story? Yeah, this kid's up front up on his toes, reaching over his head for the bowl of peppermints on the counter. He knocks it over, spills 'em on the ground and starts picking them up.

"Now Finnegan doesn't see this. He trips over the kid, falling facefirst, his gun coming out of his pocket. Now this we see, and my boys open up. Bastard didn't get one shot."

Posted by: Jeff R. at June 30, 2005 11:09 AM · Permalink

[based on a true story]

I wanted to do something special for her this Valentine's Day, rather than the standard candy and flowers.

"I don't know what to do tonight."

"Man, I've got something guaranteed for you - and her. Before she gets here, look on the kitchen table."

Uh-oh, I thought, but then he's been there, so he wouldn't embarass me too badly.

When the time came, I took a shower, got dressed up, and splashed on a bit of her favorite scent. I walked into the kitchen to start cooking dinner.

On the table was a box of Altoids.

Posted by: j.d. at June 30, 2005 1:49 PM · Permalink

Jasper threw the gum back in his mother's face.

"I SAID I WANTED SPEARMINT!"

Posted by: Eric Blair at June 30, 2005 4:12 PM · Permalink

Brilliant, as always. Not.

Posted by: Sekimori at June 30, 2005 4:22 PM · Permalink

Here there Eric, the Idea here is 100 words.

Posted by: Ted at June 30, 2005 4:23 PM · Permalink

Why are we doing this?

Well, we wanted to be TV stars, but our agent sucks. We've been here in Hollywood for a year now, and haven't gotten any work. Two blond teenaged twins can't get any work?

Instead all we get is auditions for commercials we don't get and offers to do porn flicks. The money we saved ran out last month.

Well, we finally got on TV, but only after we started robbing banks to support ourselves.
My sister's addiction gave us the corney nickname all the news stations are using.

The peppermint twins. Damn her sweet tooth!

Posted by: Gahrie at June 30, 2005 11:12 PM · Permalink

"What was he thinking?"

"Must be new to the area or something."

"Has to be. Weather like this, and him driving that. Just dumb."

"Yeah, it's always the same. They move in and don't know what they're doing. Next thing you know we're pulling them out of the ravine."

"It's not like they don't know we're going to get some snow. They just seem to pretend it
doesn't happen."

"And the ruts. You have to be careful about the ruts"

"That goes without saying."

"Can't they figure out you can't survive out here unless you drive a boxy little 4x4?"

Posted by: david at July 1, 2005 4:09 AM · Permalink

Aaaagh!! Wrong place!!

Posted by: david at July 1, 2005 4:10 AM · Permalink

"Peppermint makes me think of restaurants. They have those peppermint candies in the little basket at the cash register."

"The cheap places do," she said.

"Whatever. And peppermint also makes me think of Christmas. Candy canes, reindeer, gifties."

"A fully commercialized event. It doesn't mean anything." She went back to reading her book.

"What makes you so bitter? Besides, you don't believe in any kind of god, so what do you care if it's commercialized?"

"It drives me crazy, that's what. All those stupid songs... you know. It's all crap."

"Why did I marry you?"

"I'm sure I don't know."

Posted by: david at July 1, 2005 4:21 AM · Permalink