R&D Archives

June 6, 2005

Stacy: Sabotage

There was a dull crump from the laboratory. Doors burst open, scientists pelting madly in all directions.

'Nowhere to run,' thought Brighton. He dropped the cutting laser into a wastebin and sauntered through the compound, not caring who noticed. In seventy seconds it would hardly matter who thought what at the Rockwell Fusion Research Labratory.

He found a niche, settled in to watch as the lab building folded in on itself. Decades of research felled by a tiny flaw.

In the millisecond before he died, Brighton noted the green hue of the plasma bubble.

'The color of money,' he thought.

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September 29, 2006

Stacy: Justice, R&D Style

The specialist wiped sweat out of his eyes and bent back to the instructions.

Ok, he thought, this should be easy enough...

1. Pull down lever A.
2. With your right thumb, slide forward piece B-C
3. Raise piece J-3 upwards until it locks into place
4. Lower piece D-9 and rest on the nearest flat surface
5. Turn switches F-6 and Z-0 to their ON positions
6. Stand back

150 yards into the dense Florida undergrowth, there was a terrified scream, then an oily red explosion. The assembled law enforcement officials cheered and high-fived each other. One cop-killer down.

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October 11, 2006

Stacy: Black Ops

The project had been under development for over a decade. It had suffered budget cuts, administration changes, complete reversals in direction, yet it had endured. It might not look exactly as it did when first proposed, but it was still in development. Then one day, out of the blue, it was fast-tracked to production.

There were small mutterings at first… did we move too fast? Did we know exactly what we were doing? Speeches were made, palms were greased, and the mutterings went away. Finally, the big day came and the project was deployed.

We never saw the sun again.

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March 12, 2007

Stacy: New, From Black and Decker...

Dear Dave,

Please clean me.

Your Coffee Pot

“Very funny, Nancy,” he yawned, fumbling for the filters.

Everyone knows cleaning the coffee pot is the best way to ruin the flavor,’ he thought grumpily as he filled the reservoir. He spooned the grounds into the filter basket and pressed the Start button. Nothing happened.

He pressed Start again. The LCD timer blinked once, then began to flash wildly.

“What the…”

The flashing LCD resolved itself into words… CLEAN ME, DAVE

He yelped as the pot spewed hot water across the front of his shirt.


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