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June 9, 2010

Wednesday

Today's theme is "you have a guest."

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"You have a guest," said the investigating priest.

Sally rocked back and forth on the vomit-covered bed, staring back at the priest with weary red-rimmed eyes.

"You've got to be shitting me," she said.

"We refer to occupying spirits as 'guests' now," said the priest. "No need for rudeness while negotiating a mutually-agreeable solution to this dispute."

"SHUT UP AND GET THIS FUCKING DEMON OUT OF ME!" shouted Sally.

"I need to consult my manager," said the priest, and he pulled out a cell phone.

"WHAT??????"

The demon was shocked, too.

And easily dislodged.

"Works every time," said the priest.

Posted by: Laurence Simon at June 9, 2010 10:49 AM · Permalink

The Transylvanian Tourist

“You have a guest, Sir.”
“A guest... at Castle Dracula?”
“A lady, Sir.”
The Count’s pupils dilated, flakes of dead skin falling from his face, “Is she... voluptuous?”.
“An American, Sir”
The Count’s ventricles palpitated, “Show her to the guest’s room, Igor...”
“Certainly, Sir.”
“Prepare my black dining jacket... and a scarlet cravat.”
The Count anticipated that mouth watering feminine smell and that exquisite prick... of incisors into carotid artery.
He watched the woman wave her tour-operator’s pathetic plastic cross.
Teeth slipped through his grin.
Had she not read Richard Dawkins?
Did she still believe in all that supernatural stuff?

Posted by: Theexwhinger at June 10, 2010 9:21 AM · Permalink