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April 16, 2009

Thursday

You were misinformed

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LJ: The End of the Earth

Officers of the M.S.S. John Calvin Porter. I must apologize for the deception that has been going on the past six weeks.

The explosion of Clarke Dome was not an accident. It was a deliberate attack by Earth against Mars. We covered it up, opted to look foolish in their eyes, biding our time.

The time is now. According to our timetable, the combined fleet from Toliman and Rigil will be arriving in two hours.

They will destroy the ships guarding Earth. Our own Martian fleet will open fire on the surface.

Earth will surrender, or die.

That is all.

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Jeff R.:One of the Usual Suspects

"I have travelled across thousands of light-years to your world, and won't be going home empty-handed. Behold my fleet of scoopships, poised in orbit and ready to extract your world's precious, precious water."

"What? Listen, Klatuu Baratta Nimrod, water isn't even remotely scarce in the cosmos. I mean, it's comprised of hydrogen. which is the most common element of the universe apart from stupidity, and oxygen, the third most common. Fourth. Whatever. Tons of it in gas giants, asteroids, basically anywhere you look for it."

"..."

"..."

"Well, as long as I've come all this way...have you got any women?"

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