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April 15, 2009

Wednesday

It's tax day, and payment is due.

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Caitlin: Gifts to Impress

He hates tribute day. Every year, it’s the same: the lines, the heat, the bragging, the live animal stench. Why live animals when the dead ones were easier to handle? Provided they were fresh, of course.

He sits on the throne, the mantle and crown too heavy, sweat dripping down his back. He monotonously repeats the stock phrase of royal thanks without really paying attention. Until she approaches.

She is unremarkable; plain features, plain clothing. But her tribute stamps its hooves and belches a snort of fire that singes the hem of his robe. Finally, an end to his boredom.

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LJ: A Guy Can Dream, Can't He?

I sipped my tea. "And did you hear what Senator Reid said? Taxation is voluntary."

He snorted. "I can picture it now. 'Well, no, Mister IRS Man, I didn't pay my taxes. I didn't want to.'"

I shook my head. "I tell ya, man, when I'm elected President, I'm going to set a timetable. The IRS will be no more by the end of my first term. Consumption tax, that's the way to do it."

He set his empty cup down. "Dude, we are card-carrying members of the Libertarian Party. We're never going to be President."

He was right, dammit.

Vote Libertarian: The Party of Principle! ;)

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Jeff R: The Collector's Solo

Some find
A fine
Applied to every kind
Of purchase, or activity's too onerous to bear
But be aware
Of the undoubtable facts:
There's nothing that's too trivial to tax!

We'll charge a penny for your loafers,
And to keep away the gophers,
That's weekly dime, tacked on your yearly price.

And look: you rushed right through your shave
A pity that you didn't save
I'd say that half a cent per whisker will suffice.

I see you say 'that's splitting hairs,'
And I agree, so to be fair
I guess I'll simply have to charge you for them twice!

Read more from JeffR's .

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