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March 16, 2009

Jim: Asinine Tales

Phare takes his hooves off the oars and the boat slowly settles into the year 2009. Leather thongs lash across his shoulders, raising another line of welts.

“Whip me if you wish, Miss Mary,” Phare brays. “But I’m not pulling these oars again until you tell me why we’re doing this.”

Mary sighs. Sometimes even the whip couldn’t break this ass’s obstinacy. “I cannot yet tell you what we’re searching for, Phare. However, when we find the right year you’ll be a normal burro once again.”

So with a groan, the scarred burro Phare, partially assuaged, rows Mary in Time.

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Comments

Although I was a little drunk at the time (and may still be), I think the following is the best Feghoot I was ever told (edited to precisely 100 Words, of course):

A bear walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, “We don’t serve bears beer in this bar.”

The bear growls and rises to an impressive eight feet in height. “Gimme a beer or I’ll eat someone!” he commands.

“We don’t serve belligerent bears beer in this bar,” the bartender replies.

So the bear grabs a slatternly woman off a barstool and devours her. “Now gimme a beer!”

“We don’t serve drug abusing bears beer in this bar,” states the bartender.

“Drug abusing?” asks the bear.

“Sure,” the bartender shrugs. “That was a bar bitch you ate.”

Posted by: Jim Parkinson at March 16, 2009 11:38 AM · Permalink

Jim, I salute you. We are not worthy.

Posted by: lj at March 16, 2009 8:35 PM · Permalink