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March 30, 2009


The car won't start...

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LJ: Simple Solutions

It was the last straw. He had been henpecked to the very edge by his wife's constant nagging, and now...

He turned the key again, and all the electronics went dead again.

He sighed. If he were a man to curse, he would have. Instead, he popped the hood.

Once he looked at the engine, he immediately noticed one of the battery contacts was loose. He tightened it with a wrench, and then the car started just fine.

Sometimes problems that seem huge have a simple solution.

He thought about that, then headed back inside the house, wrench in hand.

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Jim: Consequences

Over the seas I’ve traveled,
Across the land I’ve roamed,
Always dreading three little words:
When she says, “My husband’s home!”

Grabbing shoes, shirt, socks and pants,
Out the window I go.
I scurry across shingles and over the edge
But he still sees me, though.

I pause for a moment to put on my pants
Then I tear across the lawn.
He comes out the door holding a bat,
All red-faced fury and brawn.

I put on speed, racing toward my car,
Feeling my impending doom.
Not only was Hubby catching up,
I’d left my keys in her room.

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Dave: Timing is everything

“What’s the matter?”

“The car won’t start.”

“What do you mean, it won’t start.”

“Pretty much what I think I said. It. Won’t. Start.”

“Are you turning the key far enough?”

“I believe I’ve started this car enough times to know how, in fact, to do it. And, yes, turning the key is part of that, which is why it’s what I tried first.”

“Okay, sorry. Is the battery dead?”

“I don’t know. Maybe the alternator has a problem.”

“Do we need to call someone?”

“No, I think all those SWAT guys over there will probably take care of it.”

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Jeff R.: Playing Doctor

Vic turned the key. The engine cranked a few times, but wouldn't start. He wasn't surprised. It had taken a while to start in the morning, and they'd had to wait longer than expected on Li and Tysh.

He gave a little more gas, and tried again. The engine reluctantly started. Then there was a knock on the back door.

It opened up and the prison guards pushed another gurney into the ambulance. "Hope you've got room for one more," said the guard. "Appendix burst just after you left."

The door closed, and Vic shifted into drive, beginning to sweat.

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