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March 19, 2008

Wednesday

Damn Home Owners Association...

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Stacy: Picky, Picky

“Hi, are you Mister Roberts?”

“Yes. And you are?”

“I’m Mz. Shepherd with the HOA..”

“Christ, what now? The yard is mowed, the hose is put away, and the flowerbeds are neat as a pin…”

“Well, sir, it’s these poles in the front yard here.”

“They’re part of the FENCE, and as you already know, we have PERMISSION to build the fence.”

“But sir…”

“No buts, dammit! We went through the proper channels, there were no restrictions on the type of fence that could be built.”

“Sir, the fence itself is fine, but the severed heads have got to go.”

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Sealyon: Love Your Neighbor

I'll have you know that I bought my house in 1948, long before any of you were a stain on your daddy's underwear! You can't threaten me with your Homeowner's Association rules! Telling me what kind of yard I can have, what kind of fence I can have! This is exactly what we fought against in The War. And now I have to listen to you yard Nazi's? Hell no. The fence stays!

Mr. Gashley, your fence isn't the problem. We simply ask that you remove the sharpened points. Two of Mrs. Ellsworth's cats have been impaled. It's unsightly.

Oh.

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