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November 27, 2007


How many licks does it take?

(Seems a bit too easy, so here's an added handicap: your story cannot be about sex.)

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Jim: Stop Me If You've Heard This One

After performing quick but solemn bows, two servants wrestled a long ladder into the throne room, guided by a third wearing a head servant’s braided jacket. One of the guards set aside his ornate pike and rushed over to help the servants steady the ladder.

Another servant dashed into the room, bowed politely, and scrambled up the ladder. He gently removed the burnt out light bulb and then threaded a new one in its place.

“I counted five Liechs,” the mustachioed foreigner snickered.

The crown prince of Liechtenstein shook his head. He really hated these visits from the Polish ambassador!

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David: Kandy Koan

Master met Turtle on the road, and asked it the meaning of life. Turtle did not know, but directed the master to seek Owl, appease it with a gift, and ask his question.

Master found Owl in a tree, and offered hard candy with a chewy, chocolate center. He asked, “Owl, what is the meaning of life?”

Owl held the candy so the master could see. “How many licks to reach the center of this?” Owl asked. Master did not know.

“Let’s find out,” said Owl, and licked. One. Two-who. Three. Crunch! Owl bit through the candy.

Master achieved enlightenment.

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Michele: Seven

First lick.

She paused. She could stop now. One wouldn't do anything.

Second lick.

It wasn't too late.

She laughed.

Third lick.

She was sure no one would be surprised at the act, but she hoped they would later laugh at the method.

Fourth lick.

Death by lollipop. She giggled.

Fifth lick.

She marveled that the poison didn't taste like anything except cherry and relief.

Sixth lick.

She laughed at what she was thinking. She sleepily grabbed a pen and scrawled a note on her arm for her family:

q: how many licks does it take?
a: seven.

Seventh lick.

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