« Previous Issue | Main | Next Issue »

September 4, 2007

Tuesday

Today's theme is a technological advance.

• Comments (0)     Bookmark: del.icio.us • Digg • reddit

Jim: The Fire’s On But Nobody’s Home

“Fire, Mog! Fire! Run away!”

“Settle down, Torg. This is my fire.”

“Your fire?”

“Yep. I made it myself by smashing some rocks together over dry moss for a couple of hours.”

“Hmmm. This must be a slow day for you. So, what’s this fire good for?”

“I dunno. I guess you could burn meat and things in it.”

“Why would I want to do that?”

“Dunno. It’s kinda pretty, though, huh?”

“So how do we make the fire go away, Mog?”

“I think we gotta pee on it.”

“Then let’s do that and go find something to eat.”

“Okay.”

Read more from Jim's .

• Comments (0)     Bookmark: del.icio.us • Digg • reddit

David: Progress! Industry! Science!

George stared vacantly at the beaker, which was ever so slowly filling with fluid from his test apparatus. His eyes glazed over as he followed the miniscule rising of the meniscus. He imagined he could see individual molecules diving into the ocean of the beaker, then clambering up the sides in a futile attempt to avoid being absorbed by the collective.

But it would be worth it on that day in the misty future when his genius was recognized, when he would receive the-- dare he imagine? Yes, dare!-- Nobel Prize for his work making food coloring 0.04% less carcinogenic.

• Comments (1)     Bookmark: del.icio.us • Digg • reddit

Ted: Self-Improvement?

Advertisement from 2246:

See the wonder of the ages!

In this box is the answer to every one of life's little headaches, heartaches and, hangnails.

This amazing new device will halve your workload whether you be a lumberjack, a jack of all trades, or a total jack off.

It's the new, amazing, patented worldwide, and soon to be Nobel prize winning Home Cloning Kit*! Clone yourself in the privacy of your own home! Send your clone to the office! Have it cut the grass! Plus, you will always have spare organs handy!**

Read more from Ted's .

• Comments (0)     Bookmark: del.icio.us • Digg • reddit