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September 5, 2007


Today's theme is spiders.

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David: How Could A Just And Loving God Conceive Such A Thing?

“Did you know they have spiders in Australia the size of small dogs?”

“No way!”

“Way. They’re, like, facehugger-sized. Imagine waking up in the middle of the night because you feel a tickle, and discovering an Alaskan king crab sitting on your chest.”

“Oh, God…”

“Except, instead of eye stalks they have those eight spider eyes, and those mandibles waving back and forth an inch away from your nose.”

“You are totally freaking me out right now.”

“They say if you bug-spray them, it only pisses them off. And then they jump at your face. So, have a nice trip.”

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Jeff R.:And Her Daughters Shall Be Legion

After a few generations, every damned barn spider in the farm belt was literate, meaning about every place with a few rafters overhanging had its little message.

At first, they were just little testimonials to the quality of whatever object happened to be underneath: 'Some Chair', 'Some Cactus', or the like. Or a naked superlative like 'Fantastic' or 'Extraordinary' over the watering pitcher or washboard.

Then they apparently went commercial, as slogans like 'Coke Adds Life' or 'See Rock City' adorned every web.

Three weeks ago, almost all of them changed at once, all writing 'John 3:16'. It's downright creepy.

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Ted: Weaver

She stood out on the very edge of Creation, looking down into the abyss. From this height, her eight hundred eyes could see the far end of the universe and her eight hundred legs could touch all of the worlds. Here was where she would birth.

Her abdomen lurched in painful spasms as each of her eight hundred daughters burst through her belly, skittering down different legs to different worlds.

The daughters were only the hundredth part of her, each deformed with only eight legs or eyes, but they would allow her to see enough to weave her Great Web.

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Jim: Sisyphus For Kids

Although a glimmer of dull daylight shone high above, the cave shaft around Lydia was dark as death. The walls afforded little purchase so she chose her steps carefully. Sometimes long minutes of muscle-wrenching effort were rewarded by only a few scant inches.

Yet she climbed, drawn by the promise of fresh air and light so very far above.

She heard the water barreling toward her before she felt it. Try as she might, she could not hold against the unexpected torrent. She fell screaming into the abyss.

At the bottom, again, she gathered strength for the long climb ahead.

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